Wizard

“Let’s say, hypothetically, I ate another one of these,” I began, pointing at the chocolate bar in my hand. “Would that be disgusting, or impressive?”

Sidney laughed. “Well, since that’s your second Milky Way bar and you’ve already eaten two pieces of cake and a burger, I’d say both.”

I nodded, taking another bite out of the chocolate bar. “I don’t know why Canada doesn’t have these. I feel like I should write a letter to the Prime Minister and complain,” I paused, turning to eye Sidney who groaned.

“I don’t know Stephen Harper!” He said. “I’m not sure why you’ve just decided that I must know everyone in the world,” he added.

I grinned, now finished with the Milky Way bar and searching for a garbage can to toss the wrapper into. “It’s because you’re so important I just assume that everyone must want to know you.”

He rolled his eyes, giving his head a shake. “Just because I’ve met some really amazing people doesn’t mean I’m friends with them. Why is this so hard for you to understand?”

“Are those Penguins shirts you always wear free, or do you genuinely like them?” I asked him, completely ignoring his comments. “You wear them all the time, and I just wonder…”

Sidney frowned, looking down at the dark blue Pittsburgh Penguins t shirt he had on underneath of his hoodie and tugging at it. “What’s wrong with this?”

“Oh, so it is because you like them?” I asked. “Well…okay then.” I turned away from him, continuing the walk back to his place.

Sidney jogged a couple of steps to catch up with me. “Seriously, what’s wrong with these shirts?”

“I just don’t understand why you feel the need to constantly remind people of what team you play for when there’s posters, pictures and news about you everywhere doing that for them,” I tried to explain. “But if you like them, then good for you.”

“I do like them,” He told me, waiting a few seconds before adding, “And not just because they’re free.”

I laughed, “I knew it! I can’t believe you’re too cheap to buy different shirts. Don’t you make a gazillions dollars a year?”

Sidney didn’t say anything, and when I glanced over at him I saw the same stoic expression that had crossed his face so many times before when I tried to make light of his superstardom. The laughter that often danced inside of his eyes had calmed, and he didn’t even offer a polite half smile like he had done before. He was just staring straight ahead, hands in his pockets, his eyebrows sinking down a tiny bit. I had hit some kind of nerve with him, and I wasn’t even sure how.

I sucked in my bottom lip, walking next to him in tense silence for a good few minutes, occasionally glancing over at him to see if his face had softened at all. When it hadn’t, and I couldn’t handle the silence anymore, I cleared my throat, managing to earn Sidney’s attention. “I’m sorry.”

Sidney seemed surprised by the apology, frowning. “You don’t need to apologize, I was just…thinking.”

I smirked at him. “I know that the money comment bothered you, Sidney. I can tell by the way you just shut down. Is it anything to do with your fame, is that what bothers you? Because, I need to know so I don’t continue to make you upset.”

Sidney didn’t say anything for a few seconds, which made me fear that I had just upset him again. I peered up at him, thankful to see that he was just taking the time to think. He let out a long sigh before speaking. “I don’t know why it bothers me so much, the attention. I mean, I’m so thankful that people care about me at all, and I know that I’m lucky, more than that even. It’s just,” He stopped, taking in another deep breath of air. “I just hate that people can never see me as anything other than Sidney Crosby, captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins. I hate that there’s all of these assumptions about me, that I have so many girls on the side, that I’m arrogant, that I’m always out drinking and partying. I know that those stereotypes go hand in hand with any form of fame, and I knew they would come along with me when I entered the NHL. But, I try so hard to not be seen as any of that, and sometimes it bothers me more than it should that people will still assume I’m just another guy who’s ungrateful for everything he has and wastes his life in a club somewhere.”

I nodded, just then noticing that both he and I had stopped walking and we were standing idly on the sidewalk. “I don’t think that everyone assumes that,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“I know that, but then they all assume I’m boring, or I have no personality. They all tell me how I should be living my life. Talking about how pathetic I am because I live with Mario. I’m whiny because I talk to the refs, I’m not actually that talented, the NHL just calls me their darling,” He gave his head a small shake. “I mean, I’m 22, I don’t have everything figured out yet. I left home when I was 16. I live with Mario because it makes me miss my family less, and it distracts me from how alone I feel sometimes. I try to just ignore it all and look at the positives; The fans wearing my jersey in Mellon Arena, the kids who wait hours just to meet me, the fan mail, all of that. But, for some reason, it’s all of the other stuff that stays with me.” He chewed on his bottom lip for a second. “I don’t want you to think that I’m not just a normal guy. I don’t want you looking at me as whatever all the magazines tell you to think I am. I know it’s lame to wear the shirts I get for free, but wearing them…I don’t even know how to explain this, but it makes me feel more normal. And lately, feeling like the Sidney I used to be has been impossible.”

I could feel my face falling, almost overwhelmed by how much Sidney had just shared with me. It was so easy to see him in all of those interviews, smiling at the camera, saying exactly what we all wanted him to, and assuming that he meant it all, that all of those smiles were genuine. I’d never once stopped to think that even someone as famous and talented as Sidney Crosby could feel…small.

“Sidney, do you have anyone to talk to about all of this?” I asked him. “Do you tell any of the guys? Your parents? Mario?”

He shook his head. “No. With the team, I’m supposed to be their leader. I don’t want them to hear all of this and think I’m weak. I need to be their strength, I need to be the guy who carries them.”

I nodded, still looking up at him. “I know I leave tomorrow morning, but, if you ever have one of those times where all of this just feels like it’s too much, call me. I’ll listen to you.” Sidney was looking down at me with this expression that seemed to be a cross between shock and appreciation, urging me to add, “You can’t carry all of that around, Sidney. You can’t take the weight of the team and the weight of your own issues and carry that by yourself. It’ll just break you.”

Sidney let out a small laugh, looking down at me. “Hanna, where did you come from?”

“Vancouver,” I answered, smirking at him. “What time do you need to back?” I asked him.

He glanced down at his watch. “Actually, pretty soon. I guess we should get going.” He scratched the back of his head for a second before looking back at me. “Thank you, Hanna. I know I just dumped a lot on you, but-”

“Don’t even worry about it,” I told him.

Sidney nodded, tilting his head to silently ask if I was good to continue walking. I nodded back, falling into step with him as we made our way back to his place.

------------------------------

“HANNA!” Peyton yelled when I stepped into the hotel room, nearly causing me to wet myself as she startled me so much. “Hanna, you’re famous.”

I was leaning up against the wall, taking deep breaths and trying not to pass out as I looked up at her. “What? Why did you just about kill me?”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been waiting all day for you to get back here,” She explained, reaching out and grabbing my arm so she could drag me over to the computer in our room. “Look!”

I leaned around her, peering down at the computer screen and feeling my eyes widen as I realized what I was looking at.

There it was: the picture of Sidney and I from the banquet last night, smiling at the camera. My shock wasn’t caused by the picture as much as it was the location of the picture. Sidney and I were grinning back at hundreds of girls, the baby blue background of the website clashing terribly with the dark blue of my dress.

“Oh dear Jesus, I’m on the girlfriend forum,” I said.

Peyton grinned. “You’re on the girlfriend forum.” She glanced at me, seeing the colour draining from my face. “Hey, it’s not that bad. A lot of these girls like you. Apparently, not being blonde is a bonus. I’m offended by that, since I’m a strawberry blonde, but these girls like that you’re not a typical girl. Also, they like your dress.”

“I don’t understand why they would think I’m his girlfriend, though,” I admitted, my eyes noticing the comments that were discussing my possible compatibility with Sidney, “I mean, it’s just a picture.”

“It probably has something to do with his tie matching your dress,” Peyton pointed out. “Also, if you scroll down, there’s a ton of pictures of you and him talking to one another in the background of other pictures, plus a couple of you sitting at the table with him.” She shrugged, “I don’t see what the big deal is. Everyone else is basically waiting for the two of you to just admit you want to bang each other.”

“I do not want to bang him, Peyton. Besides, we’ve been over this before. Sidney and I just met and I leave tomorrow morning. It’ll take some time before-”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Peyton said, shrugging. “I’m just saying, he’s a stud, and he likes you. And you like him. No one will blame you if you want have a make-out session at the airport tomorrow morning.”

I could feel my entire face burning from her comment, making Peyton laugh. “I’m going to have a shower and try to forget about that comment,” I told her, pushing myself away from the computer and heading over to my own room.

“Hey, Hanna?” Peyton called, causing me to turn around and look at her. “Are you going to the game tonight, or are you staying here and meeting up later?”

I sighed, “I might just stay here and then meet up with everyone later. I’m so tired.”

She nodded, “That’s what we all figured. The team booked the banquet room downstairs so that they could come here after and hang out with on our last night. Just so you know to look fantastic.”

I paused with my hand on the doorknob to my room, turning to raise my eyebrows at Peyton. “I always look fantastic, Peyton. Always.” I didn’t wait to see if she would offer any sort of reply before I walked into my room.

----------------------------
“Hanna, seriously, hurry up!” Peyton called to me, waiting out in the living room for me.

“Just a second!” I called back, digging through my suitcase, which I still hadn’t unpacked and since we left tomorrow, there was no point, in search of my cardigan. “Peyton, did you steal any of my clothes?” I yelled, getting up so I could pull open the door and peer out at her.

Peyton shook her head. “How could I have even done that without you noticing? You’ve seen me everyday.”

I pouted, “I don’t know. I just lost my cardigan. The nice dark grey one.”

Peyton let out a chuckle. “You mean hanging on the back of the couch?”

I glanced over at the white couch, noticing my dark grey cardigan hanging off of the back. “Yes, I do mean that one. Thanks for pointing it out.” I headed over to the couch, tugging the cardigan off of it and quickly slipping it on. “Alright, I’m good to head downstairs,” I told her, heading over to the door where a pair of flats were waiting for me.

Peyton grabbed her purse off of the table near the door, double checking to see that she had her room key before following me out the door.

The majority of the Penguins were already downstairs in the banquet room, the massive mob of fans in their jerseys and a few reporters standing on tip-toe with a notepad in hand being a clear indicator of it. Peyton and I had already become accustomed to flashing the photo ID cards Ray Shero had given us when we first arrived, a card that allowed us into every Penguins event that we were invited to, and also saved us from long and awkward explanations with the giant security guards. Both of us flashed the ID badges at the two gigantic guards standing outside of the banquet doors, trying to keep back the fans. One of them noticed us, nodding curtly and pushing the door open just far enough that Peyton and I could sneak through.

Tyler was the first one to notice us, as he was standing near the door on his cell phone. He grinned at the two of us, waving as we walked past him and headed over to the gigantic table set up in the centre of the room. Peyton immediately moved for the empty seat in between Kris and Jay McKee, leaving me to take the seat next to Max at the very end of the table.

“Hey, hey, long time no see,” Max greeted, grinning at me. “How was your day of Sidney?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “It was good, thanks. How was your game?”

Max pouted. “Not so good. Lagenbrunner scored twice, Pairse scored twice and that stupid Rob Niedermyer scored one, too.”
“How many did you guys score?” I asked.

“Well, I didn’t score any, thank you for reminding me,” He said, shooting me a look. “Tangers got one and Sidney got two, but that was all we managed.”

“Lots of two goal scorers in that game,” I mumbled. “Well, I’m sorry that it didn’t go as well as you would have liked,” I apologized.

Max shrugged, “Ah, you can’t win them all.” He smiled to the waitress who set down a glass of water in front of each of us, the young girl pausing to shoot him a small wink. “Whoa, she is lonely,” Max joked to me as she walked away.

I shook my head at him, lifting up the glass of water in front of me and taking a sip. “So, how much will you miss Peyton and I once we leave?”

Max sighed, bringing his hands up to rest behind his head as he pretended to ponder the question. “Honestly? I will be pretty sad. Even with Peyton leaving. I know she drives me crazy and has changed my view on beating women, but I’ll miss her.”

I laughed, “Well, it’s good to know that you now view violence against women as acceptable.”

“Acceptable under certain circumstances,” He corrected with a cheeky grin. “Really though, I’m going to miss you girls. We have to make sure we keep in touch.”

I nodded, my eyes moving past Max and scanning each player sitting at the table, smiling when one of them noticed me. Sidney was sitting half way down the table, his Blackberry in his hand as he texted someone back, occasionally looking up at Chris Kunitz as Chris was telling Sidney some story that Sidney was clearly not interested in. Once he was done texting, Sidney slid his blackberry back into his pocket before he leaned forward and continued to listen to Chris, who was getting increasingly more and more into the story he was telling. Sidney nodded every so often, a half smile tugging at his lips as he listened. After a good thirty seconds of feigning interest in Chris’ story, Sidney turned his head to look at me, catching me watching him. He smirked, raising both of his eyebrows up at me as if asking, “Yes?”

I shrugged, moving my gaze away from him and over to where Peyton was sitting next to Kris and Jay, laughing at Kris, who had placed both straws under his top lip and was pretending to be a walrus while Jay McKee was sprinkling water above him.

“He’ll miss you,” Max said from beside me.

I turned to look at him. “Kris? I’ll miss him, too. He’s so funny.”

Max chuckled. “Well, yes Kris will miss you, but I meant Sidney. You’re one of the few people he’s actually talked too. And that’s extra special since he just met you.”

I had to smile a little bit, my eye shifting so that I could catch a glimpse of Sidney once more, who was taking a gulp of water, some of it trickling down his chin. “Yeah. I’ll miss him, too.”

Max grinned. “Look at you, all young and lusting over little Sid.”

I made a face, “Please never say that phrase again.”

Max laughed, pushing himself up from his chair and getting up without an explanation. I watched with a puzzled expression as he made his way around the table, patting a few people on the head before he came to a stop right behind Sidney. I let out an inward groan, already realizing exactly what he was doing. Max leaned down and said something to Sidney, patting both of his shoulders. Sidney let out a small laugh, nodding his head as he pushed his own chair back and standing up, watching as Max immediately sat in his place. Sidney grabbed his glass of water, lifting it up to Chris, who seemed just as confused as I had been a moment ago, before he headed over to the seat Max had been in seconds before.

“Hey,” He greeted, sitting down next to me and setting his glass down.

I smiled, “Hey. I hear you had a two goal night?”

Sidney nodded, “Yeah, Geno set me up for the first one, carried it down the ice himself, and I just got lucky on the second.”

I smirked, “Of course you refuse to just take credit for it,” I joked, earning a small grin from him.

“It was a tough game. Brodeur is one the hardest goaltender to score against, and I just couldn’t beat him. The Devil’s are a team we always struggle against, anyways, so I’m pretty proud of the fact that we kept it a close score,” He explained to me.

I had to let out a small laugh. “Sidney, I’m not a reporter. You can tell me that it sucks to play your best and not win, I won’t judge you.” I took a sip of my water. “Oh, and I have to correct you,” I added, “Brodeur is one of the hardest to beat. Luongo is the hardest.”

Sidney only smirked at me, both of growing quiet as Dan Bylsma stood up to propose a goodbye toast to Peyton and I before allowing the servers to bring out whatever it was we would be eating.

“Take it all in, Hanna,” Sidney said quietly to me. “Tomorrow, you’re just a normal girl again.”

I chuckled, “It’ll be hard after living such a flashy life these last few days,” I joked. “In complete seriousness, though,” I added, “Thanks. For everything. I know you were behind most of this trip, and I really appreciate it.”

Sidney seemed embarrassed that I had brought up his involvement in the whole trip. “I just wanted you guys to remember Pittsburgh in a good way,” He said, “That’s all. My dad really took care of everything.”

I knew the last comment was a lie, but I didn’t push it. Instead, I reached out and patted the top of his hand before I picked up my glass of water and took another sip from it, just to cool down the blood that was sent rushing to my face as soon as the gesture was completed.

-----------------------------

“Are you awake?”

I turned my head away from the van window to look at Marc. “Yes, for the ninth time, I am awake.”

He grinned, “I was just making sure,” He tried to explain, taking a big drink from his cup of coffee.

I yawned, letting my head fall against the window once more. It was just before six am, and Marc, Max, Jordan and Sidney were kind enough to hop in the van with Peyton and I and head down to the airport. We had an eight am flight to catch, and after talking with all of the boys late into the previous night, both Peyton and I were completely exhausted. The boys were used to having to get up at unkindly hours in the morning, whether it was to catch their own flights or do interviews or whatever, so they were finding great joy in bothering Peyton and I.

“Leave her alone, Flower,” Jordan said from behind me, his giant hand reaching out to swat the back of Marc’s head. “She’s tired. Plus, you don’t want her last memory of you to be this, do you? She’ll go back to Vancouver and tell everyone all sorts of things about you.”

Marc gasped, “Oh no! Hanna, you have to tell people good things about me, okay? Good things!”

I reached out and pushed his face away, my eyes closing for an extra few seconds as my eyelids seem to grow increasingly heavier.

“Hey, Hanna?” I heard Sidney ask from the seat in front of me, causing me to force my eyes open so I could see him. “Do you want a cup of coffee, or something to eat?” He asked, holding up a plastic cup of Starbucks coffee in one hand and a gigantic banana chocolate chip muffin in the other.

I eyed both things for a moment. “How much longer until we’re at the airport?” I asked, my voice sounding strained.

Sidney twisted back around in his seat to glance at the clock on the car’s radio. “About a half hour.”

“Okay, I will have both of those,” I decided, forcing my body to straighten up so I could take the cup and muffin from Sidney. “Thank you.”

He nodded, turning back around in his seat.

“I would have offered you a cup of coffee,” Marc told me.

I glared at him. “You took my cup of coffee. Remember how you got that cup? You stole it from me.”

Marc frowned, glancing down at the cup in his hands. “I did that, didn’t I? I’m sorry.”

“Are you going to steal my soul next, too, thief?” I asked, taking a drink from my coffee.

I heard Sidney laugh from in front of me while Marc frowned, looking away from me sadly. I turned around in my seat to glance at Peyton, who was fast asleep in the back seat, taking up two spots and forcing Jordan over to the very edge of his seat. “Oh, she’s gets to sit next to the considerate one,” I complained.

Marc made a tisking sound. “You’re so cranky, Hanna. Don’t you want us to remember good things about you?”

I shot him a look, taking a bite out of my muffin and shooting one more envious glance back at Peyton.

It felt like hours before the van finally came to a halt. Troy, who had been driving, turned around in his seat to grin at all of us. “We’re here.” I groaned, still upset over the fact that Marc had dedicate the entire drive to keeping me awake.

I groggily slid to the end of my seat, thankful to find Max already waiting just outside of the van for me, helping me climb out of the van. “I’m so sad now,” he told me. “We can’t even go into the airport with you because Sidney is such a big deal.”

The comment made me freeze in my steps as I hadn’t even thought about that aspect. The guys couldn’t do the cliché thing and walk Peyton and I into the terminal so we could all hug and cry, they would be mobbed. They could just say their goodbyes in the parking lot and watch as the two of us headed inside to try and find our way around. Suddenly my throat felt like it was closing up, and Max became a blurry figure in front of me as I tried to rapidly blink back the tears that had sprung up on me. I had never been one for crying, and yet, for some reason, the thought of saying bye to these boys even just a moment sooner than I had originally thought was enough to cause my chin to quiver.

“Oh, Hanna, don’t cry,” Max said, waving his hands in front of my face. “This isn’t a forever goodbye, we’ll still talk. We can use video chat, it’ll be we’re talking face to face!”

I laughed, wiping away the lone tear that had managed to escape. “I know. I’m just going to miss you guys so much. I’m going to miss all of this,” I told him.

Max pouted, giving me an awkward side hug, as he holding onto one of Peyton’s bags. “I’ll miss you, too, little buddy.”

Jordan came around from the back of the van, carrying my lone duffel bag. “Oh no, you’re sad!” He said, dropping my bag and racing over to pull me into a hug, which was awkward as he was nearly a foot taller than me. “Hanna, don’t cry. I’ll cry, and that would be really embarrassing for me.”

Marc came over to give me a “good-bye high five” and a piece of a liquorice, which I had mo intention of eating since I couldn’t recall anyone buying liquorice and had no idea where he had gotten it from. Peyton was talking to Troy, but Max tugged her over to the little circle so she could be bid goodbye as well.

I turned around, still struggling to not cry like a little baby, and looked for Sidney.

He was standing just behind Troy, almost hidden, doing something with his Blackberry. I frowned, leaving the tiny circle that had formed and walking over to him. Troy smiled to me, heading over to take my place in the circle so Sidney and I were virtually alone. Sidney glanced up, tucking his phone away as soon as he saw me. “Hey,” He leaned down to look at me, frowning. “Are you crying?”

“I’m trying not to,” I said, my voice sounding shaky, which somehow made me laugh. “I think my being so tired is a big part of it. Well, that and how much I’m going to miss you guys.”

Sidney’s face fell as he nodded. “It feels like you just got here,” He said quietly.

I could hear Troy telling everyone else that Peyton and I really needed to head inside so we got past security and everything on time, making the urge to cry hit me once more. Sidney looked pained. “Hey, it’s not like we’ll never see each other again,” He tried to reassure me. “Look, you and I still have to exchange numbers,” He reminded me, taking the Blackberry he had just put away out of his pocket and handing it to me.

“I didn’t bring my cell phone,” I admitted to him, punching in my number and handing it back to him. “Maybe you can write yours down on something?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Or, I could just send you a text right now so when you get home, you’ll have my number,” He said, smiling slightly.

I nodded. “I meant it when I said that you could call me if you needed someone to talk to,” I reminded him. “You can’t hang on to all of this, Sidney. I know you’re an amazing guy, but no one could handle all of that.”

He nodded. “That goes both ways, okay? I know you’re holding something back from all of us.”

“Sidney, Hanna has to get going!” Troy called from behind me.

Sidney nodded, looking back down at me and seeming to debate something in his head before he stuck a hand out. “I’ll talk to you soon?”

I nodded, looking down at his hand and then back up at him before I took a step forward and pulled him into a hug. Sidney’s entire body stiffened for a moment, clearly surprised by my response. It didn’t take long, though, before he returned the action, allowing his arms to wrap around me as he leaned down a little bit so I didn’t have to stay up on my tip-toes. I made sure the hug lasted at least ten seconds before I finally began to pull away, giving him one last smile before I turned around.

Every one else immediately turned around so they were no longer staring at Sidney and I, each one of them launching into a fake conversation, or pointing at something to make it seem like they hadn’t been watching. I laughed, walking over to where Jordan had left my duffel bag, picking it up and waiting for Peyton to grab her suitcase before we waved to the guys and headed inside. I made sure to turn around once to look back at Sidney, glad to see him leaning against the van, his arms crossed and a grin on his face as he stared back at me.