Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Double Date

Hey! Just had to take a second to thank everyone for a)following the story and b) the comments I receive on every chapter. It's very much appreciated! Thanks, guys :)

I let out a yawn as Sidney walked me to my door, lifting up my free hand to cover my mouth as I did so. “I am so tired. Aren’t you tired?”

Sidney shrugged, letting go of my hand so I could dig through my purse to find my keys before I opened the door and he followed me in. “It’s not that late, and I had the day off. It’s you that was up at five this morning.”

I sighed, setting my keys down on the counter and sliding out of my coat before I lazily collapsed onto one of my couches. “I don’t know why five am even exists. No one likes it.”

Sidney laughed, taking a seat on the chair across from me. “That’s how I feel about Chris Neil.”

I had to let out a small laugh, stretching my legs out across the couch. “I like Chris Neil. He’s got character.”

“He’s an asshole,” Sidney argued.

“He’s a babe,” I corrected.

“A babe? Hanna, the guy can’t say my name properly because he’s missing so many teeth,” Sidney reminded me.

“So? Brendan Morrison is missing most of his front teeth, does that make him less of a babe?” I asked.

“No, but that’s because he has the face of an angel. Neil has the face of an asshole,” Sidney pointed out.

I sighed, turning onto my side so I could actually see Sidney. “Whatever, I guess we just have different taste in men.”

He rolled his eyes, giving his head a shake as he glanced past me at the clock on the microwave. “I guess I should head out soon, seeing as you’re almost asleep.”

I forced myself to sit up, rubbing at my eyes tiredly, hoping that I hadn’t smeared the mascara I was still wearing. “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired. And I’m also sorry if my dad was terrifying.”

Sidney widened his eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath of air before he kind of nodded. “Yeah he was definitely a man.”

I laughed, standing up from the couch so I could walk over and hug him, my heavy head falling against his shoulder as I did so. It had been a long dinner, almost three hours, and poor Sidney hardly had time to eat because of the non-stop questions my parents were asking. My dad asked him why he didn’t fight more in games, and then my mom would ask if he viewed the violence in hockey as influential or simply entertaining. I tried to be supportive, but I spent most of the time giggling at how obviously uncomfortable they were making poor Sidney. The only plus that I think Sidney could take away from the dinner was that, despite Sid’s protest, my dad paid for the dinner.

“Did they like me?” Sidney asked, his chin resting on top of my head.

I laughed, “Well, they stayed for the entire dinner and my dad paid, even though he knows that you make a pretty decent amount of money. That means yes, they did like you.”

He sighed, lifting his chin up as I pulled away from him. “That’s good. I was trying to make a good impression. I’m sure they’ve already heard every stereotype there is when it comes to dating a hockey player and I didn’t want to do anything that would make them think I fit into those stereotypes.”

“Well, you didn’t have a plastic blonde girl beside you, a pitcher of beer to chug or your shirt off, so I think you safely escaped that,” I assured him.

“Oh, that’s just because the girl was busy and the beer I like wasn’t served there,” He joked, earning a smack in the arm from me as he laughed, tugging his keys out of his pocket and walking over to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow some time. I don’t know when, exactly,” He said, pulling his shoes on.

I nodded, yawning again before answering, “I’ll see you after my shift. I don’t work during the game tomorrow, I get to do the pre-game cleaning.”

“Wow, you live a good life, Hanna,” Sidney joked, walking over to me so he kiss my cheek before saying goodbye and heading out the door.

“Thank goodness, I thought he’d never leave,” Peyton called, making me jump.

“Jesus, I forgot you were here,” I admitted, placing a hand over my heart.

“Actually, my name’s Peyton,” She joked. “I was going to grab a glass of water, but I didn’t want to interrupt whatever you two may be doing,” She explained, walking into the kitchen with a playful smirk on her face.

“Right, because that’s the kind of girl I am,” I said. “Does Kris know you’re in town?”

Peyton paused with the cup just before her lips, glancing at me from the corner of her eyes. “No,” She admitted, taking a drink from the cup. “I haven’t told him yet,” She admitted.

I nodded, stretching my arms above my head. “Well, you should let him know. Because the guys leave on a road trip the day after my parents fly back, and if you’re planning on staying an extra few days to see him-”

“I wasn’t planning to stay just to see him,” She said. “I was going to stay to spend time with you. Plus, I took all of my homework from school with me, my teacher sent the lessons plans with me, so I am set.”

“So…when are you going to tell Kris?” I asked.

She sighed, drumming her fingers along the counter for a moment while she sucked in her bottom lip before answering. “I don’t know. I’m scared that it’s been to long since we saw each other now.”

I rolled my eyes, “Peyton, that’s stupid. He still asks about you, and you guys talk every once in awhile, it’s not like it’s been six months with no contact.” I watched her as she gulped back the rest of her water, wiping her mouth afterwards. “How about you come to the rink once my shift is done and you and Kris can come with Sidney and I for lunch?”

She thought about it for a moment, nodding. “I guess that could work.”

“I won’t even be here to yell at you to hurry up so you can look extra pretty,” I reminded her.

Peyton laughed. “I guess that’s a plus.” She sighed, putting her empty cup into the dishwasher before she headed out of the kitchen, stopping a few feet away from me. “Thank you, Hanna. Not just for letting me stay here, but for everything. For telling me abut hockey so that I could keep up with the rest of you, for forcing me to befriend Max and Jordan, which led to getting to know Kris and-”

“Peyton, you don’t have to thank me for all of that,” I interrupted, laughing. “That’s what friends do. You were there for me when Alissa died, I’m here for you and Kris finally smarten up and date. No big deal.”

She laughed, “Goodnight Hanna.”

“See you tomorrow, Peyton,” I said, tiredly dragging myself into my room.

-------------------------------

“Do I smell like Mr. Clean?” I asked Sidney as we waited for Peyton and Kris to arrive at the tiny restaurant Sidney and I were already sitting at.

“Who’s Mr. Clean?” He asked, seeing the look on my face. “That was a dumb question, wasn’t it?”
“It’s the cleaner. You know, the one with the creepy bald headed guy on the front in a white shirt? He winks at you in all of the commercials?” I asked. Sidney gave no response, causing me to shake my head. “You live such a sheltered life.”

“You don’t smell like cleaner,” He said, laughing. “You smell like a girl.”

“Ew,” I heard someone say from behind me, making me chuckle. “Girls are gross,” Kris joked, sliding in to other side of the booth, Peyton following soon after. “How long have you two been here?” He asked, picking up the two menus on their side and handing one to Peyton with a smile.

Sidney checked his watch, “Only a few minutes. Five maybe?” He asked, glancing at me.

I shrugged, looking over my menu before looking back up at Kris and Peyton. “So, excited for your game tonight?” I asked, trying to break the silence that had fallen over the table.

Kris nodded, “I love playing the Habs. So much energy from them.”

“Will Price be in net?” I asked. “He’s a-” I stopped, noticing Sidney’s face. “He’s a goalie,” I finished lamely, making Peyton laugh.

“We don’t know who’s going to be in net for them, yet,” Sidney answered. “It’ll probably be Halak, he’s been hot right now.”

I laughed, “Yeah he is.”

Sidney shook his head, looking over at Peyton. “So, what have you done while you’ve been in town, Peyton?”

“Slept,” She answered. “Oh, and Hanna’s mom took me shopping. She bought a scarf. I lost my dignity.”

I laughed, “Shopping with my mother is always an adventure,” I told Kris and Sidney. “She’ll try on everything in every store, and then buy something completely useless that she doesn’t need.”

“Like a seventy dollar silk scarf with her initials on it,” Peyton said. “I bet she’s already lost it.”

“No, she’ll wear it non-stop for a few days and then decide she doesn’t like it. It’s like when she gets a haircut and spends three days talking about how amazing her hair is, and then wakes up on the fourth day and decides she doesn’t like it anymore so she wears a hat for the next two weeks,” I corrected.

“Is it just people on the West who do things like that? Because I’m pretty sure my mom never did that,” Sidney said.

“Your mom couldn’t go shopping, she had this kid who had to be at hockey practice non-stop,” I reminded him.

“My mom does that, too,” Kris said. “She buys things like leg warmers and tries to give them to my sister.”

“I’m sure your sister loves that,” Peyton said.

Kris nodded, moving his eyes away from the menu to look at Peyton. “She really does. She’s a very odd little girl. She doesn’t like the Jonas Brothers because they’re too mainstream. She listens to Hanson instead.”

Sidney and I both burst into laughter while Peyton shook her head, chuckling. “Oh man, Hanson was such an epic part of my life when I was six. I was convinced Taylor was my future husband.”

Kris nodded, “Me too.”

There was a pause before we all started laughing again, Kris and Peyton falling easily into a discussion of past childhood favourites while Sidney and I merely shook our heads at them.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Hanson,” Sidney admitted.

“What? You’ve probably head ‘MmmBop’ and just don’t know that it’s them,” I said.

“Maybe. I’m pretty oblivious to most music, aside form Great Big Sea,” He admitted.

“Oh, Sidney, I feel so sorry for your ears right now,” I said, making him roll his eyes. “I’m definitely heading home to make you a mix cd of shitty bands from my childhood for you to listen to on your roadtrip.”

“Look at that,” Sidney said, smiling slightly. “You called Pittsburgh home.”

I grinned, “Well, it is my home now. Besides, it takes too much time to say ‘Pascal’s basement suite’ and I might as well like the place, right?”

He nodded, glancing quickly over at Kris and Peyton as they were still laughing and talking, now discussing S Club 7. “You know that the only girl I’ll be thinking about when I’m gone is you, right? Because I don’t want to leave with you thinking that there’s some chance of me being the guy that some people like to claim I am.”

I gave him a small smile. “I know. I mean, I won’t lie, that’s going to be in the back of my head no matter what, because you’re this amazing guy and I’m constantly going to worry that you’ll realize you could do better, but I know you’re not a club goer, or a party guy or any of that.”

“Hanna,” Sidney started seriously, making sure Kris and Peyton were still distracted before continuing, “The only thing about me that could be considered amazing are my hockey accomplishments. What’s amazing about you is your spirit, you mind, your everything. I’m not going to leave thinking that there’s any girl, or possibly anything, better than you out there. Do you know how rare it is to find a girl who not only embraces the lifestyle I live, and my career, but also takes the time to get to know me and actually give a shit about what’s happening in my life? While I’m gone, I’m going to be worried that you’ll find some completely normal guy who’s around all the time and realize that’s what you want.”

I shook my head, “Sidney, normal guys are boring. I like you more.”

He grinned, reaching under the table to grab my hand and give it a small squeeze before he cleared his throat, interrupting Kris and Peyton. “What do you guys think you’ll order?” He asked.

Peyton shrugged, looking at the menu once more. “I don’t know. I kind of forgot we were at a restaurant,” She admitted with a laugh.

“I do have an ability to make girls forget about where they are,” Kris told her, picking up his menu once more. “It’s a curse, really.”

Peyton grinned, looking back down at her own menu with a playful eye roll.

“How many babies do you think they’ll have?” Sidney asked me.

I laughed, elbowing him. “Hopefully none anytime soon.”

“I’m thinking triplets. They can name all three Sidney,” He said.

“Yeah, I guess that works if they have three little baby girls,” I replied, trying to keep a straight face as Sidney’s grin fell from his face and he gave me an unimpressed head shake.

“Where is our waitress? I am hungry!” Kris groaned, patting his stomach.

“She probably forgot where she was and doesn’t know she’s working. Isn’t that the effect you have on females?” Peyton asked, still looking down at her menu and struggling to keep herself from laughing as Kris glared at her.

“Does that happen on the ice? You put him out up against Niedermyer or Phillips or someone and they’re stunned by his beauty?” I asked Sidney.

“It’s basically the only reason we signed him,” He told me. “He’s super useful on road trips, actually. When all the ladies are chasing after me, I just throw him at them and they’re silenced.”

“Silenced and pregnant,” I muttered, earning a laugh from Sidney and Peyton and an embarrassed head scratch from Kris.

“Oh, Hanna,” Sidney said, laughing still, “What am I going to do without you?”

“I’ll tell you what you’re not going to do, some girl in a glittery pink jersey,” I told him, pointing at him.

He nodded, leaning towards me to kiss the top of my head as he glanced back down at his menu and then placed it on the table. “What if she’s in a normal jersey? What if she says she’s my soul mate?”

“Sidney!” I yelled, smacking him again as he laughed, making both Peyton and Kris laugh as well.

“I won’t do anything that could upset you,” He said, still smiling at me. “I promise.”

I nodded, picking up the iced tea the now invisible waitress had brought me earlier and taking a sip of it, desperate to convince myself that the time would fly while he was gone and soon enough, he’d be back, and I’d have no reason to be worried.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Meet The Parents

I let out a yawn as I looked over at the mass amounts of people racing around the airport, frantically trying to find their way to the luggage carousel, or to find their awaiting family members.

I was standing about thirty feet away from where the luggage from my parents flight was supposed to be circulating, a cup of steaming coffee in my hand and a weight of fatigue on my shoulders. When my mom had told me that she had chosen the earliest fly in date available, she wasn’t kidding. I had to be up at five am so I could make it to the airport in time for their 6:30am flight, and even though I had become accustomed to waking up relatively early thanks to Kris, five am was just too extreme for my poor brain.

My dad was easy to spot in the crowd. His tall build and bright red Snap-On jacket was drastically different from the majority of travellers who were almost all wearing black jackets. My dad didn’t believe in bringing anything more than what could it in a carry-on bag, which I generally agreed with, so he was carrying a large duffel bag with him as he walked beside my mom, who looked as if she could barely walk because of how tired she was. She was whispering something to my dad, probably complaining about how fast he was walking, and didn’t even see me standing less than twenty feet away from the two of them.

Peyton was behind them, quite a ways behind. She was yawning as she tried to catch up with them, her usually perfect hair slicked back into a ponytail and no make-up on her face. I spent many hours making fun of Peyton and the amount of make-up and hair products she used, but when I glanced over at her and her bare face and natural hair, it was obvious that she was a beautiful girl even without all of the help. It almost made me less thrilled to see her.

“Hanna,” My dad finally greeted, spotting me. He placed his duffel bag down and walked the few feet between us, embracing me in a stiff hug, a gesture that caught me off guard since I wasn’t used to him showing affection in general. He placed both of his hands on my shoulders and looked me over, nodding his face. “You look good. I’m glad. I was worried the change would have worn you down.”

I smiled, patting his arm. “I’m fine, dad. I promise.” I turned to look at my mom. “How was the flight?”

She smiled tiredly. “Long. I wanted to sleep, but the man behind me kept snoring and I just couldn’t get comfortable.”

“Well, I’ll drive you guys to your hotel and you can sleep for awhile,” I told her, moving around her and my dad so I could almost knock Peyton over with a hug. “Peyton, I’ve missed you so much!”

Peyton laughed, returning the embrace and almost lifting me off of my feet. “Oh. Hanna. Life at the arena is so dull without you! They hired this new girl, Elisa, and she does not understand how to answer a phone.”

I let out a small laugh, offering to take her carry on bag for her as we all watched the luggage belt spit out suitcase after suitcase, trying to spot any of their luggage. I tugged my cell phone out of my pocket to check the time, yawning as I saw that it was nearing seven thirty. Even though their flight had been a mere five minutes late, coming through immigration took a good half hour for them since their flight landed at the same time as a flight from Jamaica.

My dad lunged forward suddenly, startling my mom as he had apparently spotted her suitcase: a large, white case with purple polka dots and tiny blue elephants. She had been using it since I was six years old, and I was still embarrassed by it.

“What does your luggage thing look like, Peyson?” My dad asked.

Peyton sighed, “It’s Peyton, Mr. Ashton,” She told him, shrugging slightly when my dad didn’t seem to care. “It’s black. I attached bright green luggage tags to it and tied a giant yellow bow on the handle so it would stand out more,” She explained.

“Oh, I see it,” I said, nudging past the two people in front of us so I could grab her suitcase, apologizing to the couple afterwards as I dragged the giant suitcase over to Peyton. “Is that all of it?” I asked, looking between Peyton and my parents.

“That’s it,” My dad said, looking down at his watch. “We should make our way out now, we don’t get caught in all of the traffic.”

I glanced at him, “Traffic?” I repeated, almost laughing. “Dad, it’s seven thirty on a Saturday. I doubt there’s a ton of traffic out right now.”

“Better sage than sorry, Hanna,” He said, turning and speed walking his way across the airport to try and find the doors that would lead out into the parking lot.

I sighed, falling behind a bit with Peyton as my mom scurried off to try and catch my dad. “I’m sorry if my parents were terrible to fly with,” I apologized.

“Nah, they were fine. I mean, your dad’s pretty intense, but your mom is so sweet that she makes up for it,” Peyton promised. “The food on the plane, however, I will not forgive the staff for serving that to me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get that taste out of my mouth.”

I laughed, sighing as I noticed my dad standing just beside the airport doors with a frown on his face as he watched Peyton and I take our time. “I guess we better hurry up,” I muttered, picking up my walking pace as Peyton and I tried to catch up.

---------------------

“Wow, sweet digs,” Peyton said as she entered my basement suite, nodding her head as she looked around.

“Did you just say sweet digs?” I asked her, frowning. “I almost want to send you back to Vancouver.”

Peyton grinned, tugging her suitcase into the room with her and pulling the door shut behind her. “I can’t believe you live here. Not even just here as in this basement, here as in Pittsburgh. I still think that you’re just going to come home soon.”

“It’s still weird for me, too,” I told her, heading over to the fridge and pulling out the fruit platter that Pascal’s wife, Maria, had made up for me. The woman was convinced that I didn’t eat enough, so she constantly made me take the leftovers from their dinners, or made up desserts for me. It was a sweet gesture, but since my jeans were starting to fit tighter, I was kind of hoping she’d stop. “I still have mornings where I wake up and wonder where I am,” I admitted. “And don’t even get me started on how weird it is to constantly have players from the Pittsburgh penguins chilling in your living room.”

She nodded, grabbing a piece of watermelon from the platter and taking a bite, leaning tiredly against the couch. “I’m so tired. I slept a little on the plane, but your mom kept nudging me to ask if what I thought of Sidney.”

I felt my cheeks hit up a bit. “Yeah, she’s really curious about him. I hadn’t even told her that we were together until after Sidney’s agent called her to make travel plans.”

“You didn’t tell her?!” Peyton yelled. “Are you kidding me? Hanna, he’s Sidney Crosby. I don’t care if you don’t think of him as just the hockey star, how do you not run around screaming that he’s your man?”

I shrugged, chewing on a strawberry. “I don’t know. He doesn’t really talk about it with other people because of how private he is, so I don’t want to make it a big deal, I guess. I mean, people can learn so much about him on the internet already, and I know he tries to keep as much to himself as he can so I don’t really want to give people more of a reason to stalk him.”

Peyton shook her head, “Well, I guess that admirable. I’m just saying, your mom is not a crazed Crosby fan, she’s a grown woman who wants what’s best for her little girl, and Sidney is certainly someone she should know about.”

I nodded, “I know. I still have days where it’s hard to believe that Sidney Crosby can even remember my name, let alone cares about me. I guess it was more so a way of protecting myself, in case he doesn’t care as much as he lets on or I was insane and we weren’t actually in a relationship.”

“You are far too paranoid,” Peyton said, yawning and stretching her arms above her head before she added, “But Sidney’s crazy, too. So, I guess it works.”

I smiled, eating a piece of cucumber. “So, there’s a tiny guest room over here,” I told her, leading her past the living room and to the bedroom that was juts big enough for a twin size bed and a nightstand. “I know it’s really small-”

“Its fine, Hanna,” Peyton assured me, stepping into the room and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I appreciate this so much, I really do. One day I will find a way to pay you back for all of these things, I swear.”

I shrugged, “Don’t worry about it. I consider you taking time off from school and work to come and make me feel less homesick as payback for me letting you sleep in a room I never use, anyways,” I told her with a smile.

Peyton laughed, tugging off the boots she was wearing. “I hope it’s not rude of me to sleep right away, but-”

“No, it’s fine,” I told her. “I have to call Sidney and see when he and the other guys are free to head over anyways,” I told her, waving as I stepped out of the room and pulled the door shut behind me.

-----------------------------
“I’m so nervous,” Sidney admitted, stretching out the collar of his shirt.

I smirked at him. “Calm down. My mom is the sweetest person ever. She’ll probably ask what your favourite kind of cake is so she can bake you one. My dad will act like he’s super hard-core, but I can already promise that he’s going to like you. It’ll only be an hour or so, and then we’re off to meet everyone else.”

Sidney nodded, still looking unsure. “I’ve never met a girl’s parents before.”

I was surprised, leaning away from him. “You’ve never met the parents? But, you told me you’ve had a semi-serious girlfriend before.”

He sighed, still tugging at the button down, red shirt he was wearing. “Yeah, but she didn’t care about any of this. She was just with me because of the status. And I knew that, but I thought I was okay with it because it made me feel less lonely.”

I frowned, placing a hand on Sidney’s shoulder. “Well, don’t be so nervous. Come on, you’ve played in how many playoff games and in the Olympics and you’re worried about what two people might think of you?”

“Two important people,” He corrected. “Should I tuck my shirt in?”

“Why, are you thirty-five and desperate?” I asked.

He sighed, “Are your parents like you?” He asked. “Because if they are, I don’t know if I can handle it.”

I laughed, letting my hand fall from his shoulder so I could take a hold of his hand and give it a squeeze. “Don’t worry. I’ll be right beside you, and if my dad gets too intense, I’ll tell him to stop.”

Sidney nodded, letting out a deep breath. “Yeah, I can do this. I can make really awkward conversation for an hour, charm your parents and still attempt to eat something.” He frowned, “Hanna, I don’t think I can do this.”

“Wow, no wonder people call you a whiner,” I teased, letting go of his hand so I could grab my cardigan from the counter and slide it on. “You’ll be fine, Sidney. You’re one of the most likeable people I have ever met, I promise my parents will like you. And even if they don’t, I still will.”

He sighed, rubbing his face before he nodded. “Okay. I think I’m ready.” He followed me out the door and out to his car, to nervous to do his usual charming gesture of opening the door for me.

“So, my dad is super hardcore,” I told Sidney as he backed out of the driveway and started drive in the direction of the restaurant my parents were meeting us at. “He was in the army for seven years, working as an artillery soldier and sometimes as a sniper,” I explained. “So he’s kind of… intense, for lack of a better word,” I continued. “He has a really hard time saying how he feels. I actually have a hard time remembering the last time he said he loved me, even though I know he does,” I told him.

Sidney didn’t say anything, probably because of how nervous he was.

“My mom was a nurse for most of her life. She’s the most compassionate woman I’ve ever met, the complete opposite of my dad. She has to touch your arm when she talks to you, and she’s crazy about keeping eye contact when she talks to you, so just a heads up. My dad will ask you about your finances, your education, your view on the army, the last book you read and, maybe, who your favourite team growing up was. Have a good reason for why it was the Habs, my dad hates them,” I instructed, seeing Sidney nod from the corner of my eye. “My mom will ask about your family, your childhood, how your stress level is and, maybe, how we met.”

Sidney let out a long rush of air, nodding his head. “I will try to remember all of that.” He took a few deep breaths as he parked his car in front of the restaurant, turning the car off and pulling his keys out before he turned to look at me nervously. “I might throw up.”

I laughed, “Sidney, calm down. It’ll be fine, okay? You can handle this.”


The walk into the restaurant felt much longer than it was. You had to walk up a flight of stairs before you reached the inside door , and my parents were sitting at the far end of the restaurant, my mom sipping on a glass of water while my dad stirred his Caesar, looking around at all of the people sitting around them.

Sidney was standing completely still next to me, and I had to give him a nudge before he loosened up enough to take a few steps. I could hear him taking deep breaths as I led him over to my parents, smiling sweetly at them as I slid into the booth, Sidney sliding in beside me. “Mom, dad,” I greeted, “This is Sidney.”

My dad held out his hand, looking Sidney straight in the eye. “Nice to meet you, son. You can call me John,” He said.

Sidney accepted my dad’s hand, wincing from the strength of my dad’s grip. “It’s great to meet you, sir.”

My mom was almost bouncing beside my dad, biting her lip as she watched my dad and Sidney for a moment. Once my dad had let go of Sidney’s hand, my mom extended hers, grabbing Sidney’s hand and holding it in between both of her hands. “It’s so nice to meet you. Do you prefer Sidney or Sid?”

Sidney forced a smile. “Doesn’t matter, whichever you prefer.”

“Well then, Sidney,” She said, smiling, “I am so happy to finally meet you. You must be a pretty special guy if Hanna was willing to move to Pittsburgh for you.”

I felt my entire face heat up. “Mom, Sidney and I weren’t even together then. I came here to try and figure my life out.”

My mom winked at me, “Sure you did, sweetie.” She finally let go of Sidney’s hands. “So, Sidney, tell me, how is your relationship with your mother?”

Sidney seemed surprised by the question, and I almost started laughing from the obvious look on his face. “Uhm, I get along with her pretty well. She’s very judgemental of me, but I know that she does that because she cares. She sacrificed a lot for me, so I’m always grateful for her,” He answered, nodding.

My mom seemed satisfied with the answer, taking another drink of her water. “That’s good.”

“I know your money situation is good, seeing as your in the NHL,” my dad began, pausing to take a drink of his Caesar. I knew that he was only allowing the pause to try and freak Sidney out even more, and by the gulp Sidney made, it was working. “What I want to know is, what do you use your money for? And don’t bullshit me, if you spend it on shit like expensive cars and golden statues of Star Wars characters just tell me.”

Sidney’s eyes widened a bit and he took in a deep breath before he answered. “I honestly don’t spend a lot of money. I rent a car out here, an SUV, actually for my hockey equipment, and I own a Lexus, which is pretty pricey, but that’s about the only drastic thing I’ve bought. I have my own house in Nova Scotia, but I save the majority of my money. I know I’m young, but I’m already thinking about how I need to be able to support my family, and I don’t want to rush out and waste my money. Hockey isn’t a forever career, and I know that most people don’t have the luxury of making this much money. The last thing I’d want to do is waste it with hasty purchases.”

My dad eyed for him a moment before he nodded, a teeny hint of a half smile on his face as he raised his glass and took another sip before pointed at the menus sitting in front of us. “You two should order.”

Sidney sent me a confused look which I answered with a smile, picking up my menu and leaning over a bit so I could whisper, “That means he likes you so far.”

Sidney let out a long breath of air and nodded, looking over his own menu.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Meetings

I blew my bangs away from my forehead as I loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher before untying my apron and heading into the back room.

It had been a long night, or at least it seemed like it had been. There had been two suites filled for a business party, where only two of the employees even paid attention to the game while the rest of the company had chugged back their last two paycheques and asked me if Jagr was still in town.

The only thing that made me feel a tad bit more at ease was that Lisa was with me, and she was used to dealing with macho men in suites who had booked the suites for the image side of it as opposed to the love of the sport. She laughed at their inappropriate jokes, smiled when openly stared at her and pretended that she didn’t know anything about the sport, either. During the night, I had been calling her names in my head. But when she was left almost three hundred dollars in tips, whereas I had a measly ninety-two dollars in comparison, I understood why she had played that card.

“Doesn’t make it you feel…I don’t know, degraded, or like a sell-out, maybe?” I asked her as we both washed up for the night.

Lisa sighed, brushing her hair. “It did at first. Obviously I don’t want to be some air-head waitress, but if that’s what gets me the tips from those guys, so be it. When you deal with a group of younger kids, like 18 and under, you make sure to tell them that you know Crosby. They’ll eat out of the palm of your hand if you tell them that, even if you don’t know him.”

I frowned, pulling my hair out of it’s elastic and running my fingers through it. “You’ve never met Sidney?”

Lisa shook her head. “No. I’ve only taken up Michael’s offer of letting us go downstairs to watch from the back area once, and Crosby was sick.”

I laughed, “So he was up in the suite area the night that you weren’t?” She nodded. “That’s shitty.”

Lisa laughed, “I know. My brother is the biggest Penguins fan alive. It’s the main reason that I got this job, was for the chance to score any leftover tickets and to maybe get on Michael’s good side so he’d let me go down and meet the team. But, you know, now the arena sells out almost every game, and I’m always so tired by the end of my shift I don’t even think about heading down to get Shawn an autograph.”

I listened, nodding my head a bit as I zipped up my hoodie. “How old is your brother?” I asked her, grabbing my purse from my locker.

Lisa tugged a sweater over her head before answering. “He’s twleve. I know, almost half my age. My mom re-married when I was eight.”

I held up both of my hands, “Hey, I’m not judging, I was just asking.”

She laughed, “I know. I always feel obligated to offer an explanation, though,” She told me.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, signalling a text. I quickly checked it, seeing that Sidney was asking where I was. “Is your brother here?” I asked her, starting to text Sidney back.

“No. He’s at his house,” She answered, yawning. “Which is about ten minutes from here.”

I nodded, texting Sidney and waiting for a reply before I looked back up at Lisa. “Hey, would you mind walking with me to my car?” I asked her. “I get freaked out walking alone.”

Lisa smirked at me, grabbing her purse. “Okay, if you’re really that scared. Baby,” She joked, waiting for me before we headed out.

“So, what made you move out here to Pittsburgh?” Lisa asked me as we stepped into the elevators that would take us to the bottom parking lot. “You’re from somewhere up north, right?” She asked with a small smile.

I nodded. “Yes, I am from the native land of Canada,” I replied. “It was actually my boyfriend who talked me into it. Well, his friends and him. Even though he wasn’t my boyfriend when I first got here.” I glanced over at Lisa, who was staring back at me with a completely confused look on her face. “It’s a long story.”

I stepped out of the elevator, heading out into the parking lot with Lisa next to me, looking around for where I knew Sidney would be waiting. Lisa spotted him first, pausing in her step for a moment and blinking a few times. “Holy shit, it’s Crosby.”

I grinned over at Sidney who smiled back at Lisa, walking over to where the two of us were. “Hi. Hanna said you have a brother I need to meet?”

Lisa stared at him for a moment before she glanced over at me, noticing the sheepish grin on my face. “Your boyfriend is Sidney Crosby?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know how it happened.”

Sidney laughed, extending a hand. “I’m Sid. I’m sorry we haven’t met before,” He told her.
Lisa shook his hand, “I…yeah. That’s…you’re…you’re a lot bigger than I thought you’d be.”

He grinned, “Yeah, it’s hard to look even average height when you’ve got Staalsy next to you.”

Lisa nodded, shaking her head a little bit before she took in a deep breath. “So…my dad’s house?”

I laughed, telling Lisa that we’d follow behind her car before Sidney and I hopped into my car. I buckled in my seatbelt and turned to look at him as he yawned, letting his head fall back against the head rest. “I’m sorry if you’re tired. You could have told me, Lisa didn’t know that you and I had even met.”

Sidney shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I try to meet everyone who works in the arena, so I was kind of bummed that I hadn’t met her before.”

I nodded, backing out of my parking space and following behind Lisa’s car as she drove off towards her dad’s house. I glanced over at Sidney, noticing the way that he was staring out the window tiredly, the lights of passing cars and driven past traffic lights reflecting against his dark eyes as he watched the scenery speed by. His eyes were glistening with fatigue, and I could see the struggle he was having to keep his eyelids from remaining shut with each blink. I looked back at the road, waiting until we arrived at a red light to turn to Sidney, noticing that he had let his head fall to rest against the window. “Ten minutes at the most, okay?” I said, causing him to look at me. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to do this, you’re so tired.”

Sidney sat straight up, shaking his head again and giving his eyes a rub. “It’s fine. If Lisa’s a friend of yours, then I’m more than willing to meet her brother.” I glanced away from him, making a bit of a face as I checked to make sure the light hadn’t changed yet. Sidney narrowed his eyes at me. “She’s not a friend?”

I gave him a small smile, “Not yet. She could be, though. I mean, I work with her all the time.”

Sidney laughed, “I swear, you and Staalsy are going to be the reason I throw myself off a building one day,” He mumbled, letting his head fall against the window again as the light changed and I started driving once more before he added, “Or join figure skating. I hear the people are nicer there.”


“You heard wrong. Remember that Russian figure skater who was all about his quads?” I asked.

Sidney made a face, “Did he have nice quads or something?”

I laughed, “Not the body part. He was the only male skater that could do a quadruple axel or something.”

Sidney shook his head, “Whatever, I bet he wouldn’t lie to me.”

I shook my head, letting out a small chuckle as I continued driving.

Lisa’s mom and step dad lived in a surprisingly large house, with a tiny front yard but a giant garage, probably for his collection of sports cars or tools or…something else that’s expensive. Sidney and I both had to take a moment to stare up at the giant brick house in shock before we noticed Lisa waiting for us at the front door, an amused smirk on her face as she opened up the door. “I’m just warning you, my step-dad is a macho manly man, but he will probably cry when he sees Sidney Crosby,” She warned us, stepping into the house.

Sidney took off his shoes, waiting for me to take off my own before we followed Lisa through the large front foyer and into the kitchen, was almost the same size as my entire basement suite. “Dad?” Lisa called, signalling for Sidney and I to wait just around the corner as we heard her dad call back. “Is Shawn still awake?” She asked, walking further into the kitchen and disappearing from our view.

Sidney yawned, leaning against the wall and making me frown. “I’m so sorry, Sidney.”

He laughed, reaching an arm out to pull me closer to him. “Stop apologizing to me, it’s fine,” he told me, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

“Actually,” I heard Lisa begin, walking back over to Sidney and I. “I brought someone over, I hope that’s okay.” She grinned at the two of us, waving us forward.

I stepped out first, smiling at her dad, a tall man with greying hair and an aged face that seemed to hold stories in each fallen line that rested around his eyes. He smiled to me, extending a hand. “Marshall.”

I was surprised by the greeting, accepting his hand and almost wincing at the force of the handshake. “Hanna. Hi.” I said back, removing my hand and sending a terrified glance back at Sidney who had his mouth covered to try and hide the amusement he clearly saw in that exchange.

“And this is my brother, Shawn,” Lisa said, placing both of her hands on the shoulders of the small, blonde boy in front of her. He looked almost nothing like Lisa, with white blonde, curly hair and big green eyes. He smiled up at me shyly, his cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

“I hear you’re a big Penguins fan,” I said to Shawn, earning a vigorous nod from him. “Who’s your favourite player?” I asked.

Shawn cleared his throat. “Sidney Crosby. He’s the best player alive.”

I glanced back at Sidney over my shoulder with a grin. “Have you ever met him?

Shawn laughed a little bit, reaching up and scratching just behind his ear. “No. I passed him at the mall once, but I didn’t bother him. Plus, I was with my cousin, and he’s a Red Wings fan, so I didn’t want him to say anything.”

I nodded, looking up at Lisa. “Well…do you want to meet him?”

Shawn’s eyes grew wide as he stared up at me. “Do you know him?”

I laughed, nodding my head and turning to look at Sidney. He stepped into the kitchen, smiling down at Shawn, who looked like he was about to fall over, as did Marshall. “Hi. I’m sorry we didn’t meet sooner,” He said kindly, holding out a hand to Marshall. “It’s nice to meet you, sir.”

I took a couple of steps back, watching as Sidney talked to Lisa’s brother and her step dad, the way he’d laugh at Marshall’s attempts at humour, how he listened to Shawn describe the way he had looked on the ice during tonight’s game and how he more than happily obliged to sign autographs, even waiting for Shawn to race upstairs and grab his Crosby jersey.

Five minutes before, he was almost falling asleep from the fatigue weighing down his body, and now he was using all of his leftover energy to converse with a couple of fans, hiding his tiredness from them.

I could only shake my head in disbelief at him. The more I got to see of Sidney, the more I could hardly believe that he was even real.

---------------------------------

“Next week?” I repeated, grabbing a marker and walking over to my calendar.

“Yes. Is that too soon, or is it a bad time?” My mom asked from the other end of the phone.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just surprised you and dad want to come out so soon, that’s all,” I explained, scribbling down a reminder. “Have you already booked your flight?”

“Everything’s already taken care of. Sidney’s agent called with a list of weekends that he knew worked for the team and we agreed to the earliest one,” She told me. “I don’t know where you found that boy, Hanna, but don’t you let him get away,”

I felt my face heat up again and was thankful that she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I don’t know how I managed to get him, either.” I said back to her. “Is Peyton coming with you?”

“She’s hoping too,” My mom answered. “Listen sweetie, I have to get going. I told your dad I’d make lasagne for dinner, but I don’t have the noodles so I have to go out and buy them before he gets home.”

I laughed, “Okay, mom. Call me the day before you guys are supposed to leave so we can sort everything out, alright?”

She agreed, saying bye to me before she hung up. I tossed the phone over to my bed, walking out into the living room and sitting down on the couch, flicking on the TV and heading over to the sports channel so I could check the hockey scores from the night. The Playoffs were coming up in a few weeks, and even though the Penguins were almost guaranteed a spot, I still felt the need to check out the other teams. With New Jersey three points ahead and Buffalo tied with Pittsburgh, I was growing concerned. Sidney continued to tell me not to worry, but that was almost impossible.

I let out a long sigh as I muted the TV so that I wouldn’t have to listen to the basketball highlights, and watched the bottom of the screen to see the NHL scores. I made sure to throw an arm up in celebration upon seeing that the Canucks had won their third straight, meaning that they had taken over the North West division title, but felt my face fall when I saw that Buffalo had won their game, meaning that hopped over the Penguins for third in the Eastern division, overall.

It wasn’t until they began talking about upcoming games that I was reminded of the fact that the boys would be heading off on a six game road trip. Sidney had mentioned it to me, but for some reason, the thought of how many times a season he’d be off and away hadn’t occurred to me. I looked over the dates, noticing that the day after my parent’s would head back home, he’d be leaving for his road trip.

I probably would have fallen into some form a depression mode if there hadn’t been a knock at my downstairs door, meaning that someone from upstairs wanted to talk to me. I pushed myself up off of the couch and headed over to the door, pulling it open to find Pascal grinning back at me with a chocolate cheesecake in his hands. “My wife wants you to have this,” He told me.

I laughed, taking the cheesecake from him. “Thank you.” I saw him trying to peer around me and grinned, “Do you want to come in? I guess you haven’t seen the finished product of the basement.”

He nodded, stepping into the room and looking around. “What happened to the green?”

“Oh, right. I painted over that,” I told him, shrugging when he gasped at me. “Sorry, man, but I’m not colour blind, so I couldn’t handle looking at it,” I explained.

Pascal shook his head, walking through the living room and looking at the kitchen before he nodded. “I approve. I’m still upset that you got rid of the glorious green paint I had lovingly covered these walls in, but other than that, good job.”

I shook my head, walking into the kitchen and setting the cheesecake down on the counter. “So, getting rid for your roadtrip?”

He nodded. “I am. How are you feeling about that? First time having your boyfriend head off without you.”

“I hadn’t thought about it until it was brought up tonight on ESPN, honestly,” I admitted.

He chuckled. “You have nothing to worry about. Sid hardly leaves his hotel room and he’s already wrapped around your finger. He’ll probably drive you crazy with his text messages and phone calls.”

I smiled, “I hope so.”

“You don’t need to hope,” Pascal said, “I know he’ll do that.” He began to make his way back out of the kitchen. “You know, while I’m gone and Sidney’s gone, you and Maria should have dinner together. She’ll be upstairs alone and you’ll be alone down here anyway. She’s a good cook, too.”

I nodded walking with him over to the door once more. “Yeah, I guess I could do that,” I agreed. “I’m sure I’ll need to distraction.”

Pascal frowned, looking at me. “Hanna, you don’t need to worry about Sidney.”

“I’m not worried he’ll do anything,” I explained, “I’m just worried about how much I’m going to miss him.”

Pascal grinned, “Aww, that’s cute. It’s only nine days, Hanna. Just over a week, and then he’s back and he’ll be skipping practices to buy you lunch again.”

“Six games in nine days?” I asked.

He made a face. “Right. I must be wrong about that. Well, he’ll be back soon enough. And he hasn’t left yet, so stop worrying.”

I nodded, thanking him for the cheesecake once more before I shut the door behind him as he headed back upstairs.

I turned back around to see the TV showing an interview with Sidney from right after the game and almost broke a leg jumping over my couch so I could unmute the TV in time. Sidney was laughing at whatever had just been said, wiping his face off with a towel as he nodded. “Yeah, I have a lot of pretty crazy routines, I’ll admit it. They haven’t been as bad lately, though. I’ve actually skipped a couple of them.”

“Any reason for that?” The interviewer asked him.

Sidney raised his eyebrows, pressing his lips together as he tilted his head to the side for a second before he looked into the camera and answered. “I’ve got a different kind of luck with me now. One that makes me see that it’s not about routines, it’s about believing in yourself. And as long as I’ve got that beside me, I don’t need to walk into the arena a certain way.”

I didn’t have to try and figure out what Sidney was so vaguely referring to. The way he gave a small wink at the camera just after he thanked the interviewer was enough to let me know that he was well aware of the fact that I’d be watching that interview a few hours later. I smiled at the TV for a few minutes before I let out a long sigh.

I was going to miss him.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Manners

I stared over at the doorway of my bedroom, holding a glass of water in my hand as I waited for Sidney. He was checking out the message my brother had sent me, and I was trying to untie the knots in my stomach while he did so.

Sidney emerged from the room, both of his hands in his pockets as he shuffled his way over to me. I lifted the glass up to my lips, chugging back the water as I watched him come closer to me, a tiny smirk on his face as he watched me down the glass of water before I slammed it down on the counter top and sighed. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

Sidney smiled slightly, walking over so he could lean his hip against the counter. “You’re going to be an aunt.”

I stared at him for a moment before giving my head a shake, “What?”

He laughed, “He emailed you to say that Elizabeth is pregnant, 3 months now, apparently.”

“He sent me good news?” I asked, making a bit of face. “It’s like he grew up or something.”

Sidney grinned at me, “Yeah, that’s insane.” He eyed me for a moment, watching as I carried the glass over to my dishwasher. “Are you okay?” He asked, tilting his head the side.

I shrugged. “I think so. It’s just, anything that has to do with Cameron generally brings back all of the things I didn’t deal with, I guess. I haven’t talked to him in almost a year, and the last time we talked he was drunk.”
“You and the drunks, Hanna,” Sidney joked. “He said the baby was due at the beginning of September, they don’t know the sex and that he heard you moved out and hoped all was well. There wasn’t much to it.”

I nodded, running a hand through my hair and letting out a long sigh. “I can’t believe he’s reproducing.”

“Hey, he has the same genes as you, and you turned out okay,” Sidney reminded me, making a bit of a frowny face before adding, “for the most part.”

“Watch yourself,” I warned, picking up a spatula from the counter. “I will hit you with this, and I haven’t washed it yet.”

Sidney eyed the spatula for a moment. “What did you use it for?”

“Spreading out the tuna for a tuna sandwich. On Tuesday.”

“Oh my God!” Sidney yelled, jumping back a few feet. “That was three days ago! Hanna, what the hell is wrong with you?” He asked, laughing.

I shrugged, “I kept getting distracted, I guess. I washed everything else, I just forgot about the spatula,” I explained, dropping it back into the sink and stealing a glance at the clock. “Do you have a practice today?” I asked him.

Sidney shook his head. “Well, yes, but it’s optional, and I’m opting to spend it with you and make sure you’re okay.”

“Aw, you’re all sweet and caring,” I cooed, walking over to him so I could hug him. “You’re such a girl sometimes.”

Sidney sighed, making me laugh as he reluctantly returned the hug. “I’m beginning to remember why I had remained single for so long.”

“Because it’s hard to find a nice man?” I joked, making him groan and try to push me away from him.

----------------------------------------

“No!” I yelled again, letting out an aggravated sigh. “Max, don’t make me kick your ass.”

Max laughed, “Come on! What else do they make these things for?” He asked, using the handle of a wooden spoon to try and spin a plate on.

“You are going to owe me a new plate,” I yelled at him, glancing around the already broken plate on the ground. “Or possibly a whole new dinnerware set.”

“Me? No. Sidney makes how much? He can buy you new things,” Max said, spinning the plate and trying to balance it. It lasted about the four seconds before the plate tipped and crashed to the floor, breaking into three large pieces. Max covered his mouth immediately, looking down at the plate and then back up at me a few times before he uncovered his mouth and started laughing, dropping his shoulders down as he leaned his head back and laughed.

I shook my head, pressing my lips together angrily as I watched him fall back against the counter, falling off balance from the force of his laughter. “This is why people don’t like you.”

Max laughed again, wiping his eyes. “Please, Hanna, we both know everyone likes me. Who are you kidding?”

Sidney started laughing from behind me, causing me to turn around and look at him, raising my eyebrows at him. He giggled a little bit before taking a deep breath and calming himself down. “Max, that was very irresponsible of you. And Hanna clearly doesn’t appreciate the way you’re behaving, and if you would act like this with other people, no one would like you.”

There was a pause as Sidney stared with a completely serious face at Max, who stopped laughing and also grew serious, closing his mouth clenching his jaw a little bit.

It only took a few seconds before both he and Sidney started laughing again at the same time, even more intensely then when Max had broken the plate. I threw both of my hands up in the air and walked out my kitchen, making sure to elbow Max in the gut as I passed him and made my way into the living room where Jordan, Kris and Tyler were, as well as Tyler’s girlfriend, Caity.

Since I had moved to Pittsburgh and left Peyton behind, the guys had been going out of their way to bring over every female they knew in an attempt to supply me with new friendships. It was a kind gesture that all of them were making, but the fact was that the only girlfriend I could actually see as a becoming an actual friend was Vero. All of the girls were kind, even Geno’s which I had not expected, but it seemed as if I had nothing in common with any of them. Caity was sweet enough to have around for conversation, but if the girl talked to me while she was chewing one more time, I was going to throw her not only out of my place, but into another state.

“How do you handle having them around all the time?” Caity asked me, watching Max and Sidney as the two of them were almost falling over from the power of their hysterics.

I sighed, “Well, Sidney’s pretty trainable, so when he’s by himself he’s fine. And the rest of them are actually very aware of proper manners.” I sighed, looking over at Max, who had slumped down against the counter and was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, clapping his hands as he continued to laugh. “It’s really just Max.”

Caity laughed. “I guess I could see how he’s the problem here.”

I nodded, sinking back into the couch more as the two of them continued to laugh hysterically. “At least Tyler hasn’t broken anything in my house.”

Caity smirked at me, “Not yet, anyways. The boy owes me mom an entire china cabinet worth of…well, china.”

Tyler seemed embarrassed from beside her, taking a sip of his coffee and avoiding the laugh I sent in his direction.

Sidney seemed to have composed himself a little bit more, walking into the living room and sitting himself down on the arm rest of the couch. “I’m sorry, but that was pretty damn funny.”

I shook my head at him, “Not impressed, Crosby. Not impressed.”

Sidney only laughed again, letting one of his hands fall onto my shoulder for a few seconds before he removed it and let it fall back to his side. I yawned, looking over at the group of giant hockey players who had squeezed into my rather small basement suite. Jordan had brought over his PS3 and had had high hopes of teaching me how to play some game that involved shooting zombies with a laser gun. I had lasted about three minutes before I put the remote down and left, making Jordan angry and the rest of the room laugh. He and Kris were currently playing some game that reminded me of Spyro the dragon only if Spyro was on some kind of steroids.

The guys hadn’t said anything when they first came over this afternoon, but it was obvious that Sidney had told them something had happened and I was in need of some distraction. They had two days off before their next game, and Sidney had hardly left my side since I had told him about Alissa, only leaving when it grew late into the night and I told him he had to leave so I could try and fall asleep.

“That is not fair!” Jordan yelled, slamming his controller down the floor and stomping his foot. “What cheat did you use?”

Kris stared at him with wide eyes, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t even know how this game works, I’m just pushing every button I can see.”

“Well, stop it, you’re cheating,” Jordan yelled.

“How can I be cheating when I don’t know what I’m doing?” Kris argued. “You’re just a sore loser.”

“You’re a sore loser!” Jordan yelled back. “And you’re fat.”

Kris stared at him for a moment before he shook his head. “Too far, Staal. Too far.” He stood up from the couch and walked over to where the rest of us were. “Hanna, I’m sorry, but I feel as if I am too emotionally unstable to stay here now, especially after that mean man insulted my figure.”

“Oh my God,” Sidney laughed from beside me as I nodded at Kris.

“It’s okay, Kris. I totally understand,” I told him, standing up to give him a hug. “Stay strong, buddy.”

He nodded, pretending to wipe away a tear before he looked back at Jordan, shaking his head once more before he headed over to his shoes and made his way out.

“What a pussy,” Jordan mumbled. “Who wants to play me now?”

“How about you stop playing PS3 and be a decent human being again?” I suggested, making Max start laughing again from the kitchen while Jordan merely shook his head at me.

Sidney waited until the conversation had picked up again before he leaned down. “How are you? Do you want us all to leave?”

I shook my head, “No, I’m really glad to have the company,” I told him. “Thank you, Sidney. I’d probably be having a panic attack for the next three days if you hadn’t made sure I was surrounded by company.”

He didn’t say anything back, choosing instead to run his hand through my hair a bit, letting his fingers twist around the ends of my curls as he talked to Jordan about how much he hated some game that Marc always wanted to play. I was beginning to feel my entire body fall into complacency, a small wave of tiredness beginning to wash over me as I listened to the rest of them talk. It was nearing ten o’clock, and although I would usually be awake for a few more hours before even thinking about sleep, in the last two days I had been more fatigued than usual, especially with the brief work schedule. The job wasn’t hard, but for some reason, being in Mellon arena always seemed to exhaust all of my energy. I was beginning to edge close to sleep when Caity turned to me, taking a bite out of the cookie in her hand before she asked, “Feeling tired, Hanna? I always get tired around nine o’clock, especially with the jet lag, since I’m going to school in Alberta, so I totally understand,” All while allowing me to see the progress of her chewing.

I forced a smile. “Actually, yes, I am. Is it cool if I kick you guys out?”

-------------------------

“So, you can’t handle Caity’s manners?” Sidney asked me, watching as I put the leftover cookies into a Tupperware container.

“She’s nice,” I told him. “I just can’t handle that she doesn’t pause to chew before she talks. I also feel like she can only think of something to say if food is in her mouth.”

Sidney laughed, “Yeah, I don’t know how TK does it. I mean, she’s a really nice girl, but I couldn’t sit across from that at dinner.”

“Did you just refer to her as that?” I asked, giggling slightly. “You’re kind of an asshole, Sidney.”

Sidney grinned at me, “I’m so glad to see that.”

I tilted my head to the side, leaning back against the counter. “See what?”

“You smile. I was worried that your brother and talking about Alissa might cause you to go into a bit of a depression, or make you more introverted, and I’m just really happy that you’re still finding it in you to laugh at all of us.”

I shrugged, “It’s still hard, but Alissa died seven years ago. It doesn’t make it easier, per say, but I’ve had more time to deal with it and it doesn’t affect me as much as it would have if I had been asked to talk about it even two years ago,” I explained. I studied Sidney’s face for a moment before adding, “You don’t need to worry about me so much, Sidney. I’m a strong girl.”

He nodded, “I know you are. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying.” He said, taking a few steps closer to me. “You deserve to have someone who cares about you, Hanna. And if there’s only thing I could be good at in this relationship, it’s going to be caring about you.”

I felt myself pout a bit at him, “Sidney, why are you so sweet?” I asked him.

He laughed lightly, “I don’t know. I just want to listen to you as much as you listen to me, I guess. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re alone in anything.”

I nodded, biting on my lower lip for a second. “Thank you.”

Sidney only nodded again, walking the few more steps to hug me, kissing my forehead. “Don’t thank me for giving you what you deserve, Hanna.”

I sighed, returning the hug and leaning into him a little more. If there was one thing in my life that I was thankful for at that moment, it was Sidney.

And the lemonade Jordan had brought over.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Alissa

I pulled back the sheets of my bed, setting my laptop down on the bed as I listened to the sound of Peyton’s phone ringing in my ear, waiting for her to pick up so I could talk to her. I sat down on top of my mattress, pulling the blankets up over my legs before I picked the laptop up and set down on my lap.

“Hanna!” Peyton picked up, sounding relieved to see that I had finally gotten around to calling her.

“Hey,” I greeted. “Sorry I’m calling later then I had promised. I had a busy night,” I tried to explain. “But I have some pretty fantastic news for you.”

“You’re dating Sidney,” She said.

“I’m dating-how did you know what I was going to say?” I asked her, frowning.

“Because I saw pictures of you on his girlfriend forum,” She stated matter-of-factly.

“But we just became a couple. Literally, like, three hours ago, how do these girls know?” I asked her, opening up my Internet Explorer and searching Sidney’s name, finding the board easily.

“Hanna, he’s a little bit of a big deal. I’m sure girls at the rink were watching him and saw the way you two were or something. I mean, you weren’t even a couple and people thought you were a couple. Now that you are a couple, it’s obvious that you’re a…couple.” She paused before letting out a sigh, “I’m very tired.”

I laughed, scrolling through the comments on the page, noticing a couple of pictures of Sidney on the ice before I saw one of he and I talking by the back door of the arena, my eyes noticing the caption beneath it, which had clearly been written by one of the two girls who had received autographs from Sidney. There were a few comments before the picture that were less than kind, but the two girls from earlier on swore that I had actually been pretty sweet. It would have been more of a confidence push if they hadn’t followed that by calling me fat.

“Well, that certainly ruined the surprise aspect of it,” I finally said, closing the window before I had the chance to read anymore. “So, what’s new with you? I might as well ask since my big news was spoiled by the internet.” I made a face, “Why were you on Sidney’s girlfriend forum?”

“I was bored and wanted to know if you were pregnant yet,” She joked. “I had my first class today and, I don’t mean to alarm you, but now I’m learning how to properly apply make-up and what shades to use, I’m probably going to be a babe next time you see me.”

I laughed, checking my email while I talked to her, “You were already a babe, Peyton, but I will prepare myself for insecurity when I see you next. When will that be?”

Peyton hummed for a moment, probably checking her class schedule. “I have no idea. Once I’m done this introductory course I have to take a summer course so I’m caught up with the second year kids when I start in September.”

“So what you’re telling me is that I’ll never see you again?” I asked.

Peyton laughed, “Well, kind of. I could skip a week of classes, maybe. It’ll be at least a month. I want to talk to my teacher before I make any plans. I’ve only had one class but I’m already in love with it.”

“If you need some kind of a bribe, I know some hockey players,” I joked with her, earning a small chuckle from Peyton. “Has Kris called you or anything?”

Peyton sighed, “He emails me updates on everyone, but no actual conversations. It’s okay, I need to just focus on school right now.”

I yawned, scanning through the new messages in my inbox. “What time do you have to get up tomorrow?”

“In five hours,” She replied. “I guess I should go. How about I call you next time? If you’re busy, just push ignore on your cell.”

“I will answer,” I promised. “I’ll hopefully talk to you soon. Say hi to Jenna for me.”

“Right, because I would willingly talk to my sister,” Peyton reminded me. “Take care of yourself, Hanna.”

I hung up the phone, yawning as I continued to scan through the subject’s of the emails, trying to decide which were worth reading and which were junk emails. My eyes stopped on a message from my brother, catching my interest. I stared at it for a moment, the arrow of my mouse pad pausing on the “open” option for a few seconds before I sighed, logging off and shutting down my internet so I could place my laptop back on the floor and convince myself to sleep, trying to ignore the guilt that hit me from ignoring the message.

----------------------------

“You look tired,” Sidney observed, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

I nodded, twirling one of my French fries around in ketchup. “I didn’t sleep very well.”

He studied me for a moment, debating on whether he should ask anything else before sighing. “Something bothering you?”

I chewed on the fry for a moment, avoiding Sidney’s gaze for as long as possible before I looked up at him. “My brother emailed me, which he never does, he usually pretends I don’t exist, and I just ignored it. Now I’m worried that it was something serious.”

Sidney nodded, concern washing over his face as he reached out a hand and placed it on top of one of mine as a comforting gesture. “Wouldn’t he have called you?”

I shook my head, “He doesn’t have my cell number, and I don’t know his house number.”

Sidney frowned a little bit, sucking his bottom lip for a second. “Can I ask what happened with your family?”

I moved my eyes away from him, looking back down at my plate of almost untouched food. “I don’t want to pour all of that on you. At least, not this soon into our relationship. You don’t need to have anything else on your plate.”

Sidney sighed, “Hanna, come on. I know something’s up, and I’m either going to worry about it, or spend all day wondering why you won’t tell me.”

I hesitated for a second, playing with the food on my plate before I finally looked back up at Sidney. “You remember the picture of my cousin that you saw hanging up?” I asked him, waiting for him to nod his head. “Well, Alissa and I were really close. Best friends close, actually. Her mom is my mom’s twin sister, and they used to live just around the corner from us. Cameron always got along with her and her brother, Joseph, so we were all together when we were younger,” I tried to explain. “When I was about thirteen, Alissa started telling me about how many problems she was having at school. Not bullying or anything like that, it was academics. She was incredibly smart, certified genius smart, and her parents expected a lot of out of her. I guess she was having some problems in one of her excel classes and it was depressing her. I didn’t think too much of it, I mean, I was thirteen, everyone is stressed out then, but then I started hearing about how she was showing up at parties and drinking until she blacked out-”

“At thirteen?” Sidney interrupted. “I’m sorry it’s just, I didn’t even touch alcohol until I was 19, and my friends who started drinking underage were at least 17, not that that justifies it.”

I nodded, “I know. She was fourteen when it started, but still, it was crazy. She didn’t talk to me about it very much, but she admitted that it was because of how depressed she was feeling. I figured it was a phase and once the semester was over and she didn’t have that class anymore it would all fade out. But…” I stopped, smiling at the waitress who came over to take our dishes, taking her time as she leaned over Sidney, smiling at him as she picked up his dishes. I waited until she had sauntered off to continue, “I don’t know exactly what happened, but it involved a lot of vodka and who knows what else, and she woke up the next morning with no recollection of what had happened, and also no clothes.”

Sidney was silent, clearly aware of what had probably happened. His left hand was still over top of mine, trying to keep me calm while I spoke.

I had to pause and take a sip of my water. “I didn’t say anything to my family, especially not her parents, because I thought she’d be embarrassed and I thought that she should be the one to talk about it, so I just… I just didn’t tell anyone and now Cameron blames me.”

Sidney was quiet for a moment before he softly said, “She killed herself, didn’t she?”

I nodded, no longer looking at him but instead staring out the window. “She swallowed two bottles of Tylenol. Two. Downed them with a bottle of rum, laid down to sleep and that was that. She left a note that basically said she was sorry but she had nothing left to offer anyways.”

“Her parents don’t blame you, do they?” Sidney asked, stroking my hand with his thumb.

I shrugged. “I don’t think her dad does, but I think her mom does a little. She definitely resents me for not telling her what Alissa had gotten into, but she’s never come right and blamed me, not like Cameron did. They moved away three weeks after Alissa’s funeral, and they don’t really talk to us anymore.”

“Is that why you’re so crazy about me not holding anything in?” Sidney asked quietly. “You don’t want anybody to deal with their problems alone, because the one person you know who did that is gone now.”

I nodded, looking back at him and surprised to see how much pain had crept into his face. Without thinking, I lifted up my other free hand and planted it on top of his.

“Hanna, you realize that by not telling anyone about this, you’re dealing with it alone, right?” He asked.

I sighed. I had been fighting back my emotions since Sidney had asked what was wrong, but now I could feel the sobs waiting in the middle of my throat. “I guess that I sort of felt like I didn’t deserve sympathy because Alissa would be alive if I had just told my parents. Or anyone. If anyone knew that she had been raped-”

“Hanna, that is not your fault,” Sidney said, getting up from his side of the booth so he could come over to my side, sitting so he was facing me and taking both of my hands in his. “Who knows if telling someone would have stopped her? Maybe she had made up her mind. And, you know what, how was she getting to all of these parties? You can find someone to blame anywhere you look, but that decision was still Alissa’s.”

“I just feel like everyone has been looking at me since it happened,” I confessed.

Sidney pulled me into him as soon as he saw the way my eyes began to glass over, letting me take a moment to cry. “Cameron doesn’t talk to you at all, does he?” He asked when I finally lifted up my head.

“No. That’s why I’m so worried about he sent me. It’s either going to be some nasty reminder that Alissa is dead or it’s another tragedy,” I told him.

Sidney nodded, smoothing down my hair. “Listen, how about later on I look at it for you. If it’s bad, I won’t say anything about it and we’ll forget it was there. Then you don’t have to worry about it.”

I sighed, wiping my eyes, “I guess that could maybe work. I just don’t want to think about it all, honestly. It’s still such a touchy subject for me.”

Sidney nodded. “How about we go distract you, then?”

I eyed him for a moment. “Distract me with what?”

He grinned, “Remember that time we went bowling back in Vancouver?”

I laughed, “Yes. You kicked everyone’s ass. You think reminding me of how bad I am at bowling will make me feel better?”
“We’ll put the guardrails up,” He bargained, already standing up and extending a hand to me.

I sighed, sliding out of the booth and letting him take my hand. “I’m sorry I cried all over you,” I apologized as we headed out to his car.

Sidney opened up my door for me, looking down at me with a serious expression washing over his face. “Don’t ever apologize for telling me about what hurts you, Hanna. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me these things. I don’t want you to feel like you’re dealing with all of this by yourself, so if you ever feel like you need to talk about it, or anything else, or that you need to cry, you just call me and I will be the person who listens to you and wipes away all of those tears.”

I stared up at him for a few moments before placing a hand on one of his shoulders and standing up on the tips of my toes so I could kiss his cheek before I climbed into the car.