Road Games

I am sorry that I disappeared! I had exams and a gazillion papers and a recital. But, I am done school now(FOREVER! Heck yes, no more University) so I shouldn't take that long for an update again.

“Oh, stop pouting like that,” Peyton scolded, tossing a piece of popcorn at my head as I stuck my lower lip out, looking at the TV with sad eyes as they zoomed in on Sidney sitting on the bench.

I picked the piece of popcorn out of my hair, frowning at Peyton. “I’m so glad you decided to stay an extra few days,” I told her sarcastically, eating the piece of popcorn. “I can’t help it, though. I miss him.”

“He’ll be back soon, just a few more days,” Peyton reminded me, glancing back at the TV for a second. “Oh, there’s Kris.”

“Oh, so you can be sad, but I can’t? At least Sidney’s actually my boyfriend,” I reminded her, earning another few pieces of popcorn in my hair. “Do you want to sleep outside?”

Peyton laughed, “I’m sorry. You just make this annoying moaning sound whenever you see Sidney on the TV and it’s driving me crazy. They zoom in on the guy every ten seconds, you can’t make a noise every time you see him!”

I sighed, “I know, I’m sorry.”

Peyton was silent for a moment, watching the game as she chewed on a few pieces of popcorn, “This is weird.”

I looked at her, “What’s weird? Watching hockey?”

Peyton laughed, “No. I mean, you. You’re in a relationship. I haven’t seen you in a relationship since tenth grade, and I’m not even sure that you could count that as a real relationship.”

I thought about it for a moment before nodding. “I guess it’s the first real relationship I’ve ever been in. It took my twenty years to earn a guy’s attention, but still.”

Peyton rolled her eyes, “Yes, Hanna. No other guy in the history of males has ever had an interest you, other than Sidney Crosby.” She shook her head, “I know he’s a special guy, but he is not that special,” She joked, glancing back at the TV as they called a penalty against the Penguins. Peyton waited until they cut to commercial to turn and face me. “Can I ask you something?”

“If I said no, would that actually stop you?” I asked, watching as she shook her head. “Then, yeah, go for it.”

“Do you have moments where you freak out because Sidney is such a big deal?”

I blinked a few times before shaking my head. “Uhm, I don’t really think about what a big deal he is at all, oddly enough.”

Peyton made a face, “Did I just put that in your head? Because I’m sorry if I did, it’s just that I was thinking about Kris, and I saw this fan site for him online and it scared the crap out of me.”

“Sidney kind of goes out of his way to make himself seem as normal a guy as possible,” I told her. “It doesn’t work, since people stare at him wherever we go, he gets hit on by other girls and I always hear people talking about how amazing he is, but Sidney tried to make me view him as just another guy.”

Peyton stared at me for a moment. “And that works? Either he has an acting ability that he can hide really well you are really dumb.”

I laughed, reaching out and hitting her arm. “I don’t know, when I’m with Sidney I just think of him as Sidney. He’s not trying to get a goal, he’s not getting booed, he’s just talking to me and buying me food.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that I have no reason to be completely convinced that Kris will come back from this road trip with a new girlfriend, or that he’ll do anything really stupid like hook-up with another girl?” Peyton asked.

I sighed, “Peyton, you should talk to Kris about that. But, no, I don’t think you need to worry,” I assured her. “That boy asked about you everyday when I first got here, and he spent a really long time deciding on how his hair should be the day you arrived. He’s not looking at any other girls, he’s been waiting for you.”

Peyton’s cheeks tinged a little bit, something I very rarely saw happen to her, and she smiled softly, looking away from me and back at the TV as they cut back to the game, showing Eric Goddard in the box. “He’s a man, Eric. Such a man,” She said, taking a handful of popcorn and shoving it into her mouth as she continued to watch the game.

The camera panned past the Penguins bench, with the commentator going on about how amazing Boucher, the goalie at the other end playing for the Flyers, had been all night. As usual, the camera stopped on Sidney, zooming in on him as he chewed on his mouth guard a bit, moving it out of his mouth a bit so he could chew on the end before taking it out completely so he could grab a drink of water. The mouth guard accentuated his already large lips, and it made him look a little bit like a monkey. For some reason, I only viewed it as completely adorable, and had to be careful not to let out another squeal of some kind as he continued to move the mouth guard around for a few seconds before the camera moved away from him and back to the Penguins zone where a face off was about to happen.

“I saw that,” Peyton said to me, earning my attention briefly. “And if I didn’t think it was so damn adorable that this boy has turned you into one of these girls after just over a month of dating you, I’d dump this bowl of popcorn on your head.”

I grinned at her, looking back at the TV as played started. It was weird to think that all of these new people, save for Peyton, had only been in my life for a couple of months. It was almost impossible for me to think back to the time when they hadn’t been there, and I had just been watching all of them play hockey on my TV while I put off going to sleep or getting groceries. I could almost imagine Sidney being in my life long before he had been. When I thought back to the days following Alissa’s death, I could picture him sitting beside me at the funeral, or walking down the halls at school with me. He had just become a part of my life, and even though I still had a few moments where I would pass a poster of him on the street and think about how odd it was that I had somehow earned his attention, I already couldn’t imagine things without him. It was almost scary, to already be so dependant on someone, and to have already let them become such an essential part of your life in such a short span of time, but I felt like the only thing scarier would be losing him.
---------------------------------------------
“So, hang on,” I said into the phone as I kicked the fridge shut with the back of my foot. “You just don’t eat cookies?”

Sidney sighed, “We’ve had this conversation before, I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to grasp.”

“Let’s say that I bake these delicious chocolate chip cookies,” I began, balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder, “and you come over, and I stand in front of you with them all on a platter and a pouty face and tell you that the only thing that will make me believe that you have any real feelings for me is if you eat the cookies. Would you eat them then?”

Sidney laughed, “Hanna, why is it such a big deal?” He asked. “I eat basically everything else.”

“Don’t avoid my question, Crosby. Would you eat the cookies I had slaved over, and only made because I was trying to fight away all the lonely hours without you, or would you scoff at them and tell me that eating them breaks your commitment to your sport?” I asked him, pouring myself a glass of milk.

“If the season was over, I would probably eat one,” He said. “But during the season? Hanna, when you haven’t eaten chocolate chip cookies in just over six years, and then you just say, ‘screw it’ and eat some, you usually end up getting to know your bathroom really well.”

“What if I also supplied some Pepto Bismol, or some Immodium?” I bargained, hearing him sigh on the other end, laughing softly to himself. “Come on, I love baking, and now that my family isn’t around there’s no one to eat any of the stuff I make. I’d send some upstairs, but Maria bakes just as much as I do.”

“Most of the team will still eat all of the amazing stuff you bake, and I can eat most of it,” He tried to tell me. “Couldn’t you just cut the recipe in half and just make enough for yourself?”

“I can’t just bake things for myself, Sidney. What am I, in my late forties and alone?”

He laughed, “Fine, bake as much of whatever you want, but you can’t make me eat it.”

“That’s what she said,” I muttered, earning a sigh from him. “But what do I do with all of the baking?”

“I don’t know,” He said, pausing as he yawned, “Why don’t you open a bakery or something if you love baking so much? We don’t have very many of those around here.”

I was silent for a moment, staring down at the recipe book in front of me before I gasped, “Sidney, that’s an amazing idea.”

“It is?” He asked,

“Yes! Sidney, I’ve spent the last two and a half years trying to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with myself, and you just spout off the answer!”

“Wow, now let’s actually think about this,” He started. “Opening up your own business is a lot of work, and a lot of money-”

“I’m not going to open up my own bakery now,” I said, laughing. “I’m going to keep working at the arena while I try to find some bakery or something baking related to work at, and save up my money and…I don’t what else, but at least I have something to work towards, right?”

Sidney didn’t say anything for a few seconds but eventually agreed, “Yeah, that sounds amazing. If that’s what you want to do with your life, then I’ll help you in any way you need to me too.”

“Oh, you know what would really help?” I asked.

“I’m not eating the cookies,” He answered, making me groan. “Maybe once the season is done, but not during.”

“How will I know if I am actually a good enough baker if my boyfriend won’t even eat what I bake?” I asked.

“Wow, you are just pulling out all the stops with this, aren’t you?” He asked, laughing. “You can do this, Hanna. If it’s what you really want to do, I believe you can make it happen.”

I smiled, sitting down on the couch with my recipe books, “Thank you, Sidney.” I sighed, glancing up at the clock on the wall across from me. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I don’t sleep very well on the road. Besides, I’m so used to talking to you before I go to bed that I can’t sleep if I don’t hear your voice before,” He confessed, his voice sounding so small on the other end.

I felt a grin take over my face, my face heating up, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “I miss you, Sid.”

“I miss you, too,” He admitted. “I’ve gotten used to you being there in the crowd somewhere, waiting for me once the game is over. I’m lonely now. I asked Max if he would hold my hand and go get a sandwich with me, but he said he had plans with Flower.”
I let out a small laugh, “Well, I bet Max has gross boy hands anyways. You don’t want to hold those.” I stretched out on the couch, looking at the clock again. “You need to go to bed, Sidney. Go get some sleep so you can be extra cheery with the media tomorrow.”

“I love the media. They always know just what to say to make me feel completely encouraged, and they always have cute little reminders for me on when the last time I scored a goal was or what my plus/minus is. I actually look forward to it almost as much as I look forward to smashing my face into a brick wall,” He told me, making me chuckle. “Goodnight, Hanna.”

“Night, Sidney. Have fun tomorrow with your off day. Don’t get too crazy,” I joked, smiling as he let out a tired laugh before I pushed the end button, tossing the phone onto the table and yawning, forcing myself to sit back up so I could head over to my room, checking the calendar on my wall as I did so. “Five more days,” I mumbled, letting my eyes glance over to the box with the giant red circle around it.

-----------------------------------

“Is he a good kisser?” Lisa asked.

I sighed, looking up at her over the container of aprons that I was taking over to get washed. “Lisa, I don’t want to discuss all of this with you.”

“Come on, humour me! You get to kiss the lips of Sidney Crosby whenever you feel like it, and you can’t even tell me about it?” She prodded. “I’m 24, Hanna, and I have spent the last five years trying to convince myself that Crosby might like older women. Help me.”

“I think a psychiatrist is who helps you with stuff like that,” I told her, earning an unimpressed frown from her. I sighed, taking the handful of cloths that she had and adding them to the bin in my hands. “Yes, he’s a good kisser.”

“I knew it!” She exclaimed, earning the attention of the other workers. “Sorry,” She apologized, grinning at me. “I’ll stop asking you questions, I swear,” She promised. “It’s just, with lips like that, it can either go one way or the other, right?”

I shook my head at her, making my way through the rest of the kitchen area to gather the other laundry that needed to be washed. “You’re a strange girl, Lisa.”

“Listen, Hanna,” She said, causing me to turn around and look at her, “I never really thanked you for letting Shawn meet Sidney,” She said. “That meant a lot to him, and it meant a lot to me, too. Thanks for doing that.” She patted my shoulder, shooting me another smile before she turned and headed off towards the front area.

I chewed on my lip for a moment, not sure what to think of that whole exchange, before grabbing the last of the cloths and heading off towards the laundry area.

There were reminders of Sidney everywhere, especially in his own arena. Pictures of him from the start of his NHL career to present day lined the walls on my walk down the hallway. Downstairs, where the ice was, there were giant sized posters of him with the cup above his head, or in mid slap-shot would stare back at me. It made my entire body ache with loneliness, the reminders that he wasn’t here. I found myself wishing the day would speed by so that I could talk to him before I fell asleep, or catch a clip of his interview from before or after one of the games. I found myself spacing out and losing my train of thought at work as I tried to remember what it felt like to hug him, kiss him or even just sit across from him and listen to him talk. It had only been a week, or just shy of, and yet it seemed like I hadn’t seen him in months.

“Hanna, you okay?” Michael, my boss asked me as he passed me in the hall.

I was surprised, not even aware that I had stopped on the way to the laundry room and was staring up at a picture of Sidney in the face-off circle against Nicklas Backstrom. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I just-”

“It’s okay, a lot of the workers get side-tracked. It’s weird to think that the league’s greatest could just be downstairs, right?” He asked. “Sidney’s a really nice guy, when the team is back from the road trip, he usually makes a point to come upstairs and talk to a lot of us, thank us for keeping the arena clean. A lot of the workers here have already met him, save for couple. Maybe you’ll get lucky.”

I bit back a grin, nodding to him. “That’d be fantastic. I’m a huge fan.”

Michael nodded. “Well, go finish up the laundry. There’s not a whole lot left to do, so we can probably head out early,” He said, giving me a thumbs up before continuing down the hall.

I let out a small laugh, looking back at the Sidney picture. “You come upstairs to thank the workers? You charmer,” I cooed at the picture, reaching up to let my fingers run across his face in the picture before I carried on towards the laundry room