Unexpected Places

I stared up at my bedroom ceiling with tired eyes, wishing that the day hadn’t come as soon as it seemed to have. It felt as if, just yesterday, I had read the email from my mom, and now, here I was; lying on my bed, already fully dressed, waiting until I had to leave what I now called home to be thrown into a situation I never even wanted to be in. I had managed to talk my mom out of me spending a week in Vancouver before heading out to PEI, but I would spending the first two days there with her and my dad.

I had woken up hours ago, before the sun had begin to shine, and crawled out of my bed quietly so that I could shower and change. Peyton was asleep in the tiny guest room, I could head her mumbling in her sleep when I trekked back from the bathroom to my room, and I wanted to run to her and wake her up and ask her to take back everything she said about Sidney and let me stay in Pittsburgh, completely ignoring my insane family drama. But I couldn’t do that.

Sidney was beside me, asleep and blissfully unaware of the fact that I hadn’t even slept the night before, and was now in what was basically a coma, hating my life.

Peyton’s words of warning had stuck with me since the moment she said them. When did I become so dependant on Sidney? It was to the point that I could hardly function through a whole day without at least hearing his voice. I had assumed that this was what love was, a constant need and desire to be with the other person. But, maybe I was wrong? I loved Sidney, there was no questioning that, but had I really thrown parts of myself away just to keep him closer? I mean, I was already sleeping with him and I couldn’t even say for sure if I wanted to marry him. I didn’t not want to marry him, but I also couldn’t picture forever with him, at least, not yet.

Sidney stirred next to me, reaching his hands up to his face and tiredly rubbing his eyes before he rolled onto his side and looked at me, causing me to turn my head and look back at him. He gave me a tired smile, reaching out to run his hand down my face. “You leave soon.”

I nodded, taking in his face and the way his morning hair was sticking up in every which way. “I leave soon,” I repeated.

He sighed, “I see you’ve already gotten ready,” he said, his voice hoarse with fatigue. “How long have you been awake?”

It was my turn to sigh. “I never slept,” I admitted.

Sidney seemed surprised, his eyes widening a bit as he heard my reply. “Did I snore?”

I let out a soft laugh, “No, I was just thinking all night, I guess.”

He nodded, finally rolling over so he could sit up, tugging at the collar of the shirt he had fallen asleep in. “How long until you have to leave for the airport?”

I glanced at the clock next to me, “About an hour, maybe a little bit more.”

He rubbed his face, looking down at me. “How about you go wake up at Peyton while I get changed, and then we’ll all head out for breakfast. I can call the guys if you want?”

I smiled, sitting up and leaning over so that I could place a quick kiss on his lips. “That would be great, thanks.”

He nodded again, the tips of his fingers resting on my chin for a moment before he leaned in to kiss me once more, smiling softly afterwards as he watched me climb off of the bed and head out to wake up Peyton.

Peyton almost smacked me in the face when I tried to wake her up, and once I finally managed to she leaned in to look at my face, shaking her head. “Sidney’s here, isn’t he?”

I rolled my eyes. “We didn’t do anything, Peyton, we fell asleep talking. He wasn’t even under the covers when we fell asleep, I swear.”

She shrugged, “I’m not against the sex part, I’d just be weirded out if the two of you little babies were humping while I was across the hall.”

I made a face, “First off, Sidney is older then you, and secondly…shut up,” I said, shoving her so she fell back over in bed, leaving her to laugh as I left the room.

Sidney was already in the kitchen by the time I left Peyton’s room, tiredly leaning against the kitchen counter. He let out a long yawn just before I stepped onto the linoleum, raising up his eyebrows at me as I approached him. “Tangers, Max and Staalsy are on their way over. Kris said he’d meet us there.”

I reached out to hug him, resting my head on his shoulder. “Where is ‘there’ exactly?”

“Stacy’s Diner. They have the best pancakes in all of Pittsburgh, I swear,” he told me.

I nodded, moving my head back so I could look up at him. “Tell me not to go.”

Sidney frowned, “What?”

“Tell me not to go,” I repeated. “If you tell me not to, I’ll stay here.”

He looked at me, his face switching from confusion to empathy as he stroked my hair, giving me a small, sad smile. “You know I won’t say that, Hanna. No matter how much I want you to stay here, I won’t tell you to miss this opportunity just for myself.”

I felt my eyes starting water over, which was a surprising reaction for me. “I’m so scared, Sidney. I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t want things to change,” I told him, almost whispering to make sure Peyton couldn’t overhear me as I pleaded with him. “Tell me to stay.”

Sidney seemed torn, sucking in his bottom lip as he looked at me, his face seeming to fall into lines of hurt and confusion as he gave his head a small shake. “Things only change if we let them,” he said, moving my arms from around him so he could hold both of my hands. “You and I both know that you need to go, even if it’s a scary thought. Sometimes the scariest things in life are the most necessary,” he reminded me softly, watching as I blinked rapidly a few times to stop the tears that were trying to pour over the lids of my eyes. “I’ll be there with you. I don’t need to be beside you to be with you.”

I let out a shaky breath, dropping his hands so I could wrap my arms around him again, letting him run his hand through my hair in an attempt to calm my down.

It didn’t matter how many sweet things Sidney said to me, or how much I loved him. I knew, somewhere in my heart, that things were going to be different when I got back. I just wasn’t sure in what way, yet.

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Rain.

It was the first thing I saw when I looked out the window of the plane. I had spent my two days in Vancouver being all kinds of miserable. I had refused to eat at all when I first arrived, striking worry in my parents minds. My mom followed me upstairs to ask if Sidney and I had gotten into a fight, and that the mention of his name, I had burst into tears, fallen down onto my bed and ignored the rest of her questions. I knew that the reaction was largely due to the zero sleep I had gotten the night before, and the long flight with two layovers, but it was still the exact reaction I had been worried I’d have.

My dad hadn’t even bothered trying to speak to me about what was wrong. He had never been the type, and even though I could see from his worried looks that he was just as concerned as my mom, he didn’t know how to even approach a clearly distraught twenty-one year old girl. I’m sure that both of my parents were wondering why they had thought having me stay with them for a couple of days heading out was a good idea, but, as much as I hated to admit it, I probably needed it. I knew I’d be completely messed up from having two days of being three hours ahead, only to fly out and lose four hours, but my mom had been right. I needed those two days to get the overreactions out of my system before being face to face with Cameron, which brings me back to the rain.

“We’re here,” my dad said, nudging me. He must of believed that I had fallen asleep during the flight, which he couldn’t be blamed for since I hadn’t moved or uttered a word the entire flight. “Want me to carry your bags?”

I turned to look at him, seeing that same concerned look on his face and gave him a small smile. “No, thanks, dad. I can handle it.”

He nodded, seeming to debate saying something more but deciding better of it, standing up and helping my mom get her luggage from the overhead compartment. He had made us pack everything into carry-on only, which was fine by me seeing as I always did that and hadn’t brought anything except the necessities from Pittsburgh.

I had to stop walking five times, convinced that I was about to be sick in the airport from how nervous and completely terrified I was about seeing Cameron again. I knew that Elizabeth would make sure he was nice to me, as she always had done, but it had been almost three years since I had seen him, and just saying his name left a bitter taste in my mouth. My dad was walking so fast and so far ahead of my mother and I that he didn’t even notice how pale my face had become and how shaky my hands were as I tried to drag my bag behind me, but my mom waited, rubbing my back every time I had to almost squat down and take a few deep breaths to stop myself from throwing up all over the squeaky clean tiles of the tiny airport. I managed to hold all of the emotions in, giving my head a shake as I saw my dad talking to Cameron. I stopped, looking around the airport for a good two minutes before the feeling of nausea returned.

Elizabeth wasn’t with him.

“Hanna?” My mom spoke, causing my dad and Cameron to both turn and look at me. “Are you okay?”

I gulped, forcing a smile and nodding at her before my eyes moved over to Cameron, looking him over quickly. He looked so much older then I remembered. He had the same dark green eyes as me, and the same light brown hair, but he looked like a completely different person then me. I felt as if I didn’t even recognize him as I looked him over, noticing that his once almost too thin frame was thicker, and that he had a bit of stubble coating his face. Even the way he dressed was different, in a normal pair of jeans and a plan, black hoodie instead of what I had last seen him, which was the far too tight skinny jeans and deep V-neck cardigan with some abstract t shirt underneath.

He seemed to be doing the same thing to me, both of us completely unsure of how the other would react. My dad wasn’t growing impatient, meaning that not as much time had passed as I had assumed had. Finally, Cameron let out a long sigh, startling me and making take a step back as I looked up at him. He was so tall, which was something that I had forgotten, and as he took three steps towards I was almost intimidated by the height difference. I wondered if he and Jordan were the same size, or if he was even taller. I felt like I was shrinking as he looked down at me, almost wincing as I prepared myself for whatever words he was about to spit out at me, already wishing that I could run back onto the plane and just fly back to Pittsburgh and fall into Sidney’s arms.

But he didn’t say a word. Not at first, anyways. No, he did something completely unexpected and reached out to take my bag from me, gently. “I’ll carry that for you,” he said quietly, giving me a small smile before he turned back to my parents. “I parked in the drop off zone, so we should book it before my car gets towed.”

My parents both nodded, falling into an easy conversation, asking him if Elizabeth was sick and how work was going, leaving me to stand in shock for a moment before Cameron glanced back at me and stopped, my parents not even seeming to notice as they carried on. He looked at me for a minute before he walked back over to me. “Are you coming?”

I didn’t say anything back, rubbing my left arm nervously.

He let out another soft sigh. “Hanna, I know that you probably hate me,” he started, “and I was hoping to have this conversation later, but I swear, I’m not the guy I was last time you saw me. You don’t need to be afraid of me.”

I had to clear my throat to find my voice. “I don’t think I believe that.”

He nodded, “I know, and I don’t blame you. But, I mean, what good does it do for you to stay in the airport?” he asked, almost smirking at me. “Come on, Liz set up the downstairs room for you. She spent three weeks on it, just to make sure you’d love it. And this bag is kind of heavy, so…” He raised an eyebrow at me.

I studied his face for a moment, trying to decide if I believed him or not. Finally, I nodded, following him out to where his car was parked.

Cameron and Elizabeth lived in a beautiful house. I didn’t really know much about what he did for a job now, but I knew he made good money, and Elizabeth was a school teacher at the small elementary school just around the corner from their house. They had a lot of property, which was pretty common out in the area they lived in. Elizabeth was waiting on the front steps when we pulled into the driveway, and I was out of the car before it had even come to a complete stop.

“Hanna!” She greeted, “Look at how grown up you are,” she said, placing both of her hands on my waist and looking me over with a big smile. “You’re such a beautiful girl, you know?”

I smiled, “Thank you. And look at you, you’re so…pregnant.”

She laughed, stepping into the house and taking me with her. “Yes, and I have been for about nine months now.” She watched as my dad and Cameron came into the house with all of the luggage. “Let’s worry about getting you guys settled until later. I made lunch,” she said, going over to give my mom a hug and smiling at my dad. “I hope you guys are good with soup and buns. I don’t know what it is with this baby, but she won’t let me eat anything solid lately. I’m always sick afterwards.”

My mom laughed, “I was the same way when I was pregnant with Cameron. I also couldn’t even hear the word eggs or I would be sick.”

“Wow, I thought it would take a little longer before the pregnancy talk started,” I admitted, walking down the hall towards the kitchen. I stopped when I saw a picture of Alissa and I hanging on the wall, my body frozen as I saw it. We must have been ten in the picture, and my head was back, my mouth open as I laughed and my arms around Alissa. She was leaning forward, closer to the camera then I was, and her eyes were glistened with tears from how hard she was laughing. I couldn’t even remember where the picture was, but I couldn’t take my eyes away from it.

“It’s from her birthday,” Cameron said from beside me. “You had just knocked her cake off of the table.”

I shut my eyes, the memory coming back to the front of my mind. “I remember that,” I said quietly, opening my eyes to look at the picture again. “Auntie Britt was so mad.”

Cameron laughed, “She spent hours decorating the cake, and then you just swooped right in and knocked it over.”

“We still ate it,” I reminded him.

He nodded, reaching out to the straighten the picture frame next to it. “And it was delicious.” He looked down at me, his eyes swimming with the thoughts he didn’t want to say yet. “We should get into the kitchen before Liz gets too hormonal and cries because the soup went cold before we ate it.” He moved to walk past me before stopping and looking back down at me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Hanna. For everything. I’m sorry.”

I watched him walk into the kitchen, stunned again by how sincere he seemed to be. I glanced at the picture of Alissa and I again, my head moving to look at the rest of the pictures before my dad called for me, shaking me from my thoughts and urging me to head into the kitchen where the rest of them were.