Toothbrush

“So, you’re going?” My mom asked almost in a whisper, so quietly I had to press the phone hard against my ear just to catch the words.

“I think so. I might change my mind, but I feel like I should go. I mean, I like Elizabeth, and I want to see my niece be born,” I explained, watching Sidney as he moved around in his kitchen, pouring two cups of coffee.

“Oh, Hanna, that’s wonderful. Cameron was hoping you would come, and so was I,” She gushed. “Now, don’t get upset with me, but I already bought a ticket for you and everything. I’ll mail it to you if you want, or your father and I could pay for you to fly out here a few days earlier and then fly out to Prince Edward Island with us,” She offered.

“Mom, why would I fly out from Pittsburgh to Vancouver so I could hop on another plane and fly back out East to PEI?”

“I guess that doesn’t make much sense, does it?” She sighed, “Alright. I’ll mail the ticket out to you tomorrow, you’ll get it in time for sure. Make sure you don’t lose it, okay?”

“I will put it somewhere safe,” I promised, accepting the cup of coffee that Sidney handed me with a small smile. “I should probably go, mom. I’m at Sidney’s.”

“Oh, are you?” She asked. “At this time? What is it there, almost ten?”

I let out a small sigh, thankful that Sidney couldn’t hear my mom on my cell phone as he obliviously flicked through the channels on his TV, setting down his own cup of coffee on the table. “Yes, it is. He had practice today and I had to work, so I didn’t have a chance to see him until later,” I told her, smiling awkwardly at Sidney when he shot me a curious glance, clearly aware of the fact that he had been brought up.

There was a small pause on the other end of the phone. “Well, don’t stay too late. I don’t want you to don’t anything…stupid, I guess is the word I’m looking for,” she told me, letting out another sigh.

I turned away from Sidney, even though he wasn’t looking at me, placing my cup of coffee down on the end table by the chair I was next to. “Mom, I should go.”

“Don’t get all upset with me, sweetie. I like Sidney, he’s a nice boy. I just don’t want you to lose your head and go off and sleep with the boy, that’s all.”

I could feel all of the blood rushing to my face, glancing over my shoulder at Sidney to make sure he couldn’t hear the conversation. “Right. Well…bye mom.” I pushed the end button on my cell phone, placing it down next to my cup of coffee.

“Fun conversation?” Sidney asked, looking at me with a small smirk.

I pushed my bangs away from my eyes, sitting down on the chair. “It was all kinds of fun,” I promised, picking up my cup of coffee and taking a drink from it. “Are you sure you can’t come with me?”

He smiled, shutting off the TV and leaning forward on the couch. “The only way I could go would be if we were eliminated from the Playoffs in the first round, and I hope you’re not wishing for that to happen.”

I pursed my lips, sinking back into the chair more. “No, I don’t want that to happen,” I assured him. “I’m just scared about being alone with my family for two weeks. If you were there-”

“If I was there you would use me as an excuse to not spend anytime with your brother or any other member of your family, and you wouldn’t resolve anything,” He interrupted. “Hanna, I know it’s scary to be face to face with your brother, especially when the two of you don’t get along and there’s a lot of bitterness there, but I really think that this is something you need to do.”

I groaned, “I know you’re right, but I really wish that you weren’t.”

Sidney laughed, “I think this will be really good for you. I don’t know if you realize how tightly you’re hanging onto this resentment, but I honestly believe that if you and Cameron at least attempt to settle things, that you could let go of it, and everything in front of you could become so much clearer. Maybe this is what you need to really figure out what you want to do with your life?”

I gulped back almost half of my coffee, ignoring the burning pain it left in my mouth. “If this hockey thing ever stops working for you, you should consider writing self-help books, because, I swear to God, Oprah would say that exact same thing to me. But she’s be in purple.”

Sidney laughed, “Why can you never just say thank you, Hanna? I’m basically saving your life and you mock me.”

“Saving my life?” I repeated, giggling a bit, “Yeah, okay. Because making me spend two weeks with my insane brother and naïve mother is such a life saving gesture.”

He made a face at me, “It won’t be as bad as you’re thinking it will be, anyways. I’m sure it will be fine.” He picked up his own cup, taking a drink from it before he turned back to me. “What day do you leave on?”

I shrugged, “I’m not sure. I think May 5th, or something like that.”

He grinned, “So you’ll still be here for your birthday?”

I felt my cheeks burn a bit. “You remember that, huh?”

“You sound surprised,” He observed. “IS it really that surprising?”

“Well, I guess most guys might forget, especially if he has as many priorities and as much stress as you,” I admitted.

Sidney gave me a half smile, standing up from his spot on the couch and coming over to stand in front of me. “I don’t know why you haven’t realized this yet, but you’re a priority for me now, which means that I make an effort to remember all of these things.”

I sighed, “Sidney, you need to stop saying sweet things like that. You’ll give me a heart attack one day from all the swooning.”

He laughed, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

I grabbed my cup of coffee, downing the rest of it before I stood up. “I guess I should get going since you have to be up early for the game day skate and all,” I said, holding my empty cup.

Sidney gave a soft nod, taking the cup from my hands and putting it back down on the table before leaning down to kiss me. “You have to go already?”

I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I can’t keep you up all night,” I said, rolling my eyes at the grin that crossed his face as soon as I had said it. “You have to be up at, like, seven, and then go skate around for an hour. We can’t. Besides, I’m supposed to meet Caity and Vero for brunch, so I need to be up relatively early anyways.”

Sidney wasn’t even really listening to me anymore. Somewhere between me reminding him of his morning skate and my own plans he had moved from listening to kissing my neck, and as hard as I was trying to act as if the same thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, the more he kissed down my neck the harder it was getting to remember my own arguments. “Sidney, I need to go home,” I barely managed to whisper, “we both have to be up early.”

Sidney lifted his head up, smirking at me a bit. “Here’s an idea; how about you just stay here tonight?”

I eyed him, trying to ignore the fact that his hands, which were on my lower back, were already resting beneath the fabric of my shirt. “I don’t have any clothes here,” I reminded him.

He shrugged, leaning down to catch my lips again for a moment. “You don’t need clothes.”

“I do tomorrow,” I said, trying to look past him so I could focus.

Sidney sighed, dropping his hands from around me and taking a step back .”I guess you’re right,” he admitted.

I finally looked back up at me, only then noticing how messy his hair had become at some point in the last few minutes and almost fell over right then. “You know what?” I asked, making him raise his eyebrows at me, “If you wake me up when you’re leaving I’ll have time to-”

I hadn’t even finished the sentence when Sidney had leaned back down to kiss me, the two of us standing there for a minute, lost in the kiss, before he pulled away and lifted me up, tossing me over his shoulder in a way that almost made me laugh as he carried me over to his room.

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“Hanna?”

I groaned, rolling over and cracking open an eye to look up at Sidney. He had clearly been awake for awhile as he was kneeling next to the bed grinning at me, his hair still wet from the shower he must have just had. He had on a pair of jeans, but hadn’t found the time to throw on a shirt on yet. Despite how tired I was from a lack of sleep, the sight was enough to jolt me up. “Are you leaving?” I asked him, pulling up the blanket with me.

He nodded, reaching out and smoothing out my hair with a small smile. “You slept well, apparently.”

I sent him a curious glance before I placed a hand up on my head, groaning as I felt a wild mess of hair. “How bad is it?”

He laughed, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” “Do you want something to eat before you go?”

I smirked at him, still using one of my hands to try and fix my hair. “Do I want to eat before I leave to go eat? I’m good, thanks.”

He rolled his eyes, standing up and walking over to his dresser so he could grab a shirt. “Never mind then,” he mumbled, tugging a dark blue, long sleeved shirt over is his head before he turned around to look at me. “Are you getting up, or do you want me to leave you a key so you cam lock up after I leave?”

I glanced over at the clock, noting the time and sighed. “No, I should get up. I have to go home and change anyways, I won’t have enough time if I don’t do that now.”

He nodded, walking out of the room for a moment to make sure his hockey gear was ready to go, leaving me to pull on my clothes and walk into the bathroom, almost laughing at how horrible my hair looked. I splashed some water on my face to make sure I was fully awake before Sidney appeared next to me, smirking a bit. “I bought you a toothbrush, because I know you’re paranoid about bad breath.”

I smiled, accepting the tooth brush he held in his hand, still in it’s plastic package. “When did you buy this?”

“A couple of days ago,” he admitted, shrugging shyly.

I only grinned, picking up the tube of toothpaste next to the sink and starting to brush my teeth. Sidney watched me for a second, which made me a little uncomfortable, before he turned and headed back out to the living room, probably putting away the dishes we had left out the night before.

When I was done brushing my teeth and fixing my hair, I emerged from the room to see Sidney already ready to go. He grinned at me as I made my way over to him, putting on the flip flops I had worn over the night before. I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly, which he acknowledged by leaning down to kiss me, placing one hand on the side of my head, just below my ear, as the other one leaned down to pick up his hockey bag. “Ready?” He asked.

I laughed, “I have my own car here,” I reminded him.

Sidney shrugged, opening the front door and waiting for me to walk through it before he followed. “I know, but I didn’t want to just leave if we were both heading out anyways.”

I smiled at him, waiting for him to toss the bag into the back of his range rover. “I’ll talk to you later. I’m assuming tomorrow?”

He nodded, placing another kiss on my lips, “Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow. The rest of today is pretty packed.”

I nodded, taking a moment to look up at him before I sighed, “Well, bye.”

He reached out and grabbed my hand before I could turn and head to my car, giving me a smirk. “Hanna?” He asked, making me look up at him again. “I love you.”

I smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. “I love you, too,” I said back, winking at him before I turned and walked over to my car, laughing when I saw him shaking his head at me before I climbed into my car and headed off.

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It took three hours, and twenty minutes after Caity headed home, for Vero to finally turn to me and ask, “Did you have sex with Sidney?”

“Does everybody know about that?” I asked, suddenly self-conscience.

Vero laughed, “No! I don’t think Sidney has said anything, I mean, Marc-Andre didn’t say anything. You just seem different, and so does he lately.”

“Well…yeah, we’ve, you know, done that,” I said, looking away from her.

“You seem embarrassed?” Vero asked.

I sighed, “It’s just awkward to talk about, I guess. I wasn’t really expecting it to happen.”

“So it was just a one time thing?” She asked, laughing when I glanced up at her. “Oh, I see. You still feel guilty, but not enough to stop?”

“I don’t think guilt is the word,” I said. “It’s just that, I always thought I’d only be with one guy in my entire life, and that guy would be my husband. It was the idea that I was raised with, and I know that my parents would be completely horrified if they knew that I was doing more then kissing with Sidney,” I explained.

Vero nodded, playing with the buttons on her cardigan. “Do you think that Sidney is the man you’ll marry? Is that why you changed your mind?”

I froze with the cup of water I was about to drink half way to my mouth and glanced up at her. I had never, not once, even thought about that. I loved Sidney, I really did, but I never had the time to stop and wonder if he was the one. There were moments where I felt like I could probably spend forever next to him, and falling asleep in his arms the night before was one of them, but for the most part, I didn’t think about it. Now that the question had been asked, I almost felt sick. I had thrown away my morals for a guy that I wasn’t even positive I would marry? Had I become that girl?

“Hanna?” Vero asked, waving a hand in front of my face. “I’m sorry, did I upset you?”

I sighed, setting my cup down with shaky hands. “No, I just, I never really thought about marrying Sidney. I mean, it’s barely been four months. It’s too early to think about marriage.” Vero didn’t say anything, but the look on her face was enough to make me nod my head with shame. “I know. It’s too early for me to have thought about marrying him, but not too early for me to fall into bed with him.”

Vero chewed on her lip for a moment. “There are so many people who don’t even wait to be in love before they do that. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You love Sidney, and he loves you. Focus on that.” She waited to make sure I was done with the topic before she changed the subject. “So, when do you leave to go visit your family?”

“I don’t know the actual date,” I admitted. “But it’s just after my birthday. I’m staying with my parents for a couple of weeks, then lying out to PEI with them and staying there for a week or so. It’s going to be hard to be away from everyone for almost a month, but Sidney thinks it’s something I need to do, and he’s usually right about these things.”

Vero nodded, smiling at me. “How about we go and get some cute baby clothes for your soon to be born niece? Take your mind off of things.”

I grinned, “That would be a wonderful distraction,” I agreed, standing up from her couch. “Hey, Vero?” I asked, catching her before she left the room. “Thanks.”

She smiled, “I’m not sure what you are thanking me for, but you are welcome.”

I laughed, following her through the house and to the front door.