Adventures

“Hanna?” Vero called, the sound of her walking through the living room accompanying the call.

“I’m in my room,” I called back, flipping shut the book I was reading and looking up at her as soon as she walked into my room. “What do you need?”

She smiled, walking over to sit on the edge of my bed. “I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

I smirked at her, sitting up on my bed. “I go to counselling to talk about my feelings, Vero, you don’t need to worry about me,” I reminded her.

She nodded, smoothing out the comforter on my bed before letting out a long sigh. “I actually wanted to ask you of a favour.”

I nodded, again, trying not to giggle at her. “What is it?”

“You would be okay with me leaving for a few days, right?” She asked, giving me a small smile. “Because, those pictures you took for me, they worked. I have been asked to fly out to New York and meet with an agent.”

I felt my mouth fall open for a moment before I lunged forward and pulled her into a hug. “Vero, that’s amazing! Of course you should go, I’ll be fine here.”

She laughed, “Are you sure? I hate to leave you when you’re still…”

I smiled at her, “Sad? Don’t worry about me, Vero, I can manage. Remember, counselling? I believe I just brought it up a moment ago. Besides, I think a little alone time would be good for me.”

She nodded, looking me over with a soft sigh. “I just feel bad, leaving you after a break up.”

“Well, it was a little bit my fault for the break-up, and it was almost a month ago now. I will be fine. I’ll hang out with… I don’t know, someone. I’ll be fine, okay. I’ll be here, working and spending my spare time taking pictures and crying every time the TV plays a hockey commercial with Sidney in it,” I joked.
She smiled at me, reaching out to move my hair out of my face, a gentle gesture that Vero often used with me. At times, she seemed more like a mother figure to me then one of my closest friends, and after ruining what might have been the best relationship of my life, it was nice to have. “Have you talked to Sidney?”

I shook my head, I giving a small shrug. “No, but he sort of hinted that he thought us being so far apart might be a good thing, so I’m not going to worry about it too much.” I let out another sigh, grinning at Vero. “When are you leaving?”

“In two days, if it is okay?” She asked, smiling shyly.

I rolled my eyes. “Vero, I just told you it’s fine if you leave. You can’t miss out on a possible modeling gig because I just went through a break-up. That’s ridiculous.”

“That is what Marc-Andre told me, too,” she said, laughing. “You’ll help me pack then?”

“Oh, I see. This is the favour you were going to ask for?” I let out a soft laugh when she nodded. “Fine. I mean, it’s not like I already took the pictures that got you this possible modelling gig. I definitely haven’t done enough for you.”

She smirked at me as we both our made way towards her room. “That reminds me,” she began, “how are you liking staying here for almost free?”

I laughed, “Wow. Okay, touché.”

--------------------------------------

The apartment was so quiet without Vero in it. The first day without her had been good. I did need a little quiet time, not that Vero was really much of the noise maker, and it was nice to be able to sit down and actually think about the way things were now.

By the second day, however, I was just out about losing my mind. It seemed like everywhere I turned there was a poster of Sidney, a commercial about his golden goal, an FSN commercial featuring him, or a poster of him staring down at me. My counselling sessions had moved on from discussing my family to asking about current relationships and who had helped me realize I needed the counselling, and when my poor counsellor asked me if Sidney was still in my life, I almost started crying. I knew that us not being together, at least at this point in time, was what was best for us. But at the same time, I had never missed anything as much as I missed Sidney’s voice.

It was funny, the things that you do end up missing. I had been to afraid to admit that I wasn’t actually ready for such a serious relationship because I thought I would miss the feeling of his arms around me, or the way his lips felt when he kissed the crook of my neck. I thought I’d miss holding his hand, or falling asleep beside him on the nights that he slept over. But now that all of that was actually gone, I found that I missed his voice more than anything else. I missed the way he would breathe that he loved me into my ear when he was tired. I missed those few moments when he was deep in thought and I would interrupt them with a random comment, and he would let out this soft laugh before telling me I was ridiculous. I missed listening to him. I missed him. I missed the friendship even more then I missed the romantic side of our relationship, and I couldn’t stop worrying that my refusal to just admit that I needed to take a step back and deal with my baggage had ruined every aspect of Sidney and I.

I finally moved myself off the couch, where I had been lying since I had arrived home from work, and sulked my way into the kitchen, opening the freezer and grabbing the small pint of ice cream. I was just about to grab a spoon when I heard a knock at the door, making me abandon the pint of ice cream on the counter and head over to the door, tugging it open to reveal Max and Jordan on the other side. “You guys are still in Pittsburgh?” I asked, letting them come into the apartment.

Max nodded, looking around the place. “Yeah, well, I can’t go back to Quebec yet. Not when I brought the cup last year, and this year? Nothing.”

I laughed, looking over at Jordan, who was already looking through my fridge. “What about you?”

“Me?” He asked, standing up with a jar of pickles in his hand. “I just like Pittsburgh.”

Max pointed over at the untouched container of ice cream and raised an eyebrow at me. “Are you doing that thing girls do when they are sad? Eating bad food and being sad?”

I sighed, “That was the plan, until you two showed up.”

Jordan chewed on a pickle, loudly, before saying, “We’re surprisingly in touch with our feminine side.”

Max nodded, picking up the carton of ice cream. “We can cry about Sidney, too. No worries. But we might need more ice cream.”

I laughed, “Thanks, guys. I’m not sure I want to cry about Sidney anymore, though,” I admitted, walking into the living room and waiting for them to join me. “I just feel lost, guys. I know that this counselling is good for me, and I’ve been loving my time with my new camera, but I still feel like I have no direction. I gave up my relationship because I needed to deal with everything, but now I feel like I’m even more lost.”

Max and Jordan exchanged a completely bewildered look, Jordan still eating pickles straight out of the jar and Max with a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. After a moment, Max spoke. “Hanna, we can’t help you with that.”

I sighed, “I know. I just missed having someone to talk too,” I explained.
“Well,” Jordan began, crossing one leg over the other and holding the pickle in his hand up in the air for a dramatic pose, “I think that you should spend some time having fun. Your pictures are good, your cookies are good. Keep doing things that make you happy, and keep going to counselling.”

I rolled my eyes. “I thought you’d share some life changing advice with me.”

“I’m a Staal, not a therapist,” he scoffed, taking a loud bite out of the pickle.

“Well I think,” Max began, “that Jordan has a point. You spent a long time ignoring parts of yourself. Spend some time focusing on them. You and Sid both need to just take a little while and live. You’re both just thinking about your relationship, and since there isn’t one right now, maybe you should be thinking about yourself.” He took another spoonful of ice cream, watching to see if I would mock his advice before adding, “What do you want to do? What makes you happy?”

“Honestly?” I asked, watching both of them. “Photography. And baking. I’m happiest when I’m taking pictures, and I love coming home and making cookies or cakes.”

“Which is better?” Jordan asked.

“Photography,” I answered without a thought. “I love capturing a moment. With one movement, the entire story behind the picture could change. Someone could be laughing when I lift my camera up, and scowling by the time the flash has gone off, but I caught the moment of happiness. They’ll look back on it and see the smile. That’s what I love. Capturing those moments.”

Jordan and Max seemed to exchange another look before Jordan set the jar of pickles down the table and leaned forward. “Have you ever thought about maybe being a sports photographer?”

I laughed. “You need a degree for that, guys. Or at least a lot of credibility.”

“What if we said that we could get you on as a junior photographer with a team?” Max asked. “You’d take some pictures, and you could put them on your own site.”

“The only catch is that you’d be moving again,” Jordan told me.

I was still caught off guard by the offer and had to take a moment think about it before asking, “Where would I be going this time?”

“Back to Vancouver,” Max said, grinning at me. “It wouldn’t be until your counselling is done, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

I sighed, “Back to Vancouver? I just moved into this place with Vero.”
“You’ve barely unpacked,” Jordan reminded me. “And if you don’t want to do it-”

“I do,” I said. “I’m just… how did you guys manage this?”

There was a pause, the two of them exchanging another look before turning back to me with a grin. “We know Rick Bowness, the assistant coach of the Canucks, and he introduced us to Jory, their team photographer, and he mentioned needing an assistant. That’s all.”

“How did you meet Rick Bowness?” I asked.

“Hanna, that’s not important,” Max said. “What’s important is that you find yourself. Wait until you’re done your counselling to really answer, but I think this might be good for you.”

“Back to Vancouver?” I repeated, sighing. “You boys, you’re just taking my life and throwing it into all kinds of walls.”

Jordan grinned, “We’re hockey players. Smashing people into boards and walls is what we do.”

I rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head when Max and him both high fived in laughter