The Waiting Game

My mouth hung open as I stared at my TV screen, my dad and mom looking equally shocked on either side of me as we stared, trying to let the last moment sink in.

“Oh my God,” I said, lifting my hands up to cover my mouth.

My dad shook his head, standing up from the couch. “Damn. I knew not to get my hopes up.”

Cameron, who was in the kitchen, poked his head around the corner. “What? Did the Canucks get eliminated again? Shouldn’t you be used to that?”

I ignored him, as I had been doing the last three days, and continued to stare in complete shock at the TV, my heart rate beating fast as the events of the game sunk in.

My mom was almost in tears, which was both amusing and depressing, as she turned to Cameron. “No, they play tomorrow. But the Penguins are out.”

Cameron frowned, “The Penguins? I thought they were playing the Bruins?”

“They were,” my mom reminded him, “and they were winning this last game, game seven, until some asshole-”

“Michael Ryder” I mumbled.

“tied the game, and then Fleury misplayed the puck and some other asshole-”

“Patrice Bergeron,” I mumbled again.

“got the puck and scored. Then it was over.” She finished, letting out a shaky sigh as she looked back at the TV and watched as the Penguins and Bruins began the handshake line, Sidney leading it. “Poor Sidney.”

Cameron’s eyes shot from my mom to me, clearly having forgotten that Sidney was on the team. “So, the Pens are done? They can’t win the cup now?”

Both my mom and I nodded, still watching as the Penguins finished the handshake line and held their hockey sticks up in the air, paying thanks to the fans as they had been eliminated in their own arena.

“I’m sorry about that. What do they do now?” Cameron asked.

My mom glanced over at me, clearly checking to see if I was going to answer him or not. When I didn’t so much as blink, she sighed, turning her head back towards Cameron. “They go golfing.”

I didn’t hear Cameron’s reply to the comment, my entire focus being cast towards the television as I watched Marc Savard get interviewed, my eyes catching Sidney in the background, leaning against the boards of the bench, his helmet off and discarded somewhere on the ice as he stared at the rink, the rest of the team filing off of the ice behind him, their heads hanging low. Bill Guerin waited just behind him on the bench, placing a hand on Sidney’s shoulder and saying something to him that made Sidney nod his head a bit, glancing at back at Bill before he looked back out at the ice for a long moment, rubbing his chin before he left the ice and disappeared into the back where the rest of the team was.

My mom placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a small smile. “He’ll be okay, honey. Sidney knows how to handle things like this.”

I nodded, letting out a long breath of air. “I know that he’s okay, it’s me I’m worried about. What am I going to say to him the next time I see him? ‘Sorry you guys couldn’t beat the team nobody expected to make to make past the first round. Better luck next year’? I mean, what do I do?”

“Hanna, calm down,” My mom said, almost laughing. “Sidney isn’t going to expect you to take care of him, he’ll just be happy to see you again. You know that, don’t you?”

I nodded, my eyes moving past her face towards Cameron, who was still leaning against the door frame, watching the two of us. I could see the look of worry written across his face, but I wasn’t sure if it was because he was concerned about Sidney, or if he was worried about whatever it was I was going to do when I saw him next. I couldn’t help but scowl at him, earning an eye roll out of him before he moved out of view and back into the kitchen.

----------------------------

I scrolled through my uploaded pictures, letting out a sigh as I glanced at them all. Photography had been such a passion of mine when I was in high school, but I was never willing to take the required photos. We’d be assigned to take a picture of railway tracks, and on the way over to the tracks I’d be distracted by a little kid riding his bike down the road and snap a picture of him instead, killing any hopes of me acquiring some kind of degree in it, like maybe Art Media.

There were quite a few pictures of Elizabeth, all pregnant and smiling at me with one hand on her stomach. They had all turned out nice, and with the editing program I had downloaded it didn‘t take very long before I had cropped out the open cupboard behind her, adjusted the lighting and contrast and had a pretty decent looking photo. There were a few of my dad and Cameron in the back, working on the tree house they were building, and then a few abstract ones of things I had seen while out with my mom walking, a flower with a bee on it, a mom and her newborn baby walking down the street, the typical.

I let out a sigh, glancing over at my cell phone. Sidney hadn‘t call me yet, and even though I knew that he would call when he had composed himself enough that he was ready to talk, I couldn‘t help but worry. Ever since Cameron and I had fought over whether Sidney and I were moving to fast or not, I couldn’t stop worrying. And maybe Cameron had brought a fear that I hadn‘t been ready to face before. Maybe I was willingly throwing myself into my relationship with Sidney because I still wasn‘t sure what I wanted to do. I loved working at the bakery, but could I really handle owning my own business? Did I want to go be a pastry chef? Did I even want to live with Sidney yet, or would it be better to save up and get my own apartment? Did I even want to spend the rest of my life in Pittsburgh, or was it time for me to come back home?

I was only supposed to stay on Prince Edward Island for another four days, but since Elizabeth was already past her due date, I wasn‘t sure if I would just stay longer, or if I would leave before the baby was born. I wanted to talk to Sidney about it, but now that he was dealing with the shock of the elimination from tonight‘s game, I wasn‘t sure if he would want to try and sort out my problems with me, at least not yet. And I wanted to tell him that there was a part of me that was concerned about the fast pace of pur relationship, but I knew that he was sensitive right now, and that telling him I was starting to worry probably wouldn’t be the best choice right off the bat. I was out of pictures to edit, which meant that I was out of distractions, and he still hadn’t called me. I stared down at my phone for a good three minutes before I shut my lap top and got up from the desk, deciding that I would just try and force myself into slumber instead of worrying myself sick over issues I couldn’t even resolve on my own and waiting for Sidney to call me.

I was just about to crawl under the covers when I heard footsteps running down the stairs, making me pause and look over at my bedroom door right as it burst open and a panting Cameron yelled, “Elizabeth’s water broke, we have to go to the hospital.”

------------------------------------

“Is there a baby yet?” Peyton asked, making me laugh into the receiver.

“No, not yet.”

“But, it’s been, like, three hours. Tell her to hurry up, I need to sleep.”

I shook my head, looking up at the sky from outside of the hospital. “Sometimes it takes more than three hours, Peyton,” I reminded her. I chewed on my lower lip for a second before finally asking, “How’s Kris?”

She sighed, “He’s alright. Disappointed, but he keeps telling me he’s used to it now, and that this is just how hockey goes. I think I’m handling it worse then he is, honestly”

“Have you talked to Sidney? Because he hasn’t called me yet,”: I asked.

“I saw him just after the game. He was quiet, but he didn’t seem as upset as I would’ve imagined him to be. He was basically attacked by the media as soon as he stepped into the locker room. He was the last one to come back into the room, actually, and I’m guessing it was to avoid the craziness of the media. He went home as soon as they were done talking to him. I’m not even sure he had showered,” she admitted, laughing lightly. “He’ll call you, Hanna. He’s probably just leaving you alone right now because he doesn’t want to put any pressure on you. You know how he is.”

I nodded, sighing. “I wish he’d call. I haven’t even been able tot ell him that my niece is on the way, and I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“He’ll call you, Hanna. Or, here’s a crazy idea. Call him. It’s not like he’ll see the caller ID and think, ‘shit, my girlfriend is calling me.’”

“You’re so sweet, Peyton. You’re empathy is really you’re strongest quality,” I told her, smirking despite the fact that she couldn’t see me.

“Thanks. I’ll let you go and call your man now. Let me know when that baby gets here, okay?” She said, making me promise to do so before she hung up.

I had to take a second to talk myself into calling Sidney before I finally punched in his number and waited, surprised when he picked up after the first ring. “I’m sorry to call-”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you did,” he interrupted, sighing. “how are you?”

“I’m waiting for my niece to get here, actually. Liz is in labour as we speak and I’m waiting for the baby to get here,” I answered. “How are you? I saw the game.”

There was a pause, “I’m…I’m okay. I should be used to it by now, right? I mean, we’ve been eliminated in the playoffs more times then we’ve won the cup,” he joked. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’m disappointed, maybe a little mad, but I’ll deal with it. How long has your sister in law been in labour for?”

“Just over three hours,” I answered, debating on what I should bring up next before I sighed. “Sidney, can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can,” he sad, sounding almost amused.

“Do you ever think that maybe you and I are moving too fast?” I asked.

There was a long pause on the other end, and I could almost see the worry stretch itself out across his face as he tried to understand what I was getting at. “I-I, don’t’ really think about it, no. Why? Is this about the house, because you don’t have to move in with me if it’s too soon for you, I just-”

“No, it’s not the house, it’s everything,” I admitted. “I mean, we went from barely making out to sleeping together, to now living together, and I guess I’m just starting to worry. I mean, a few days ago Cameron asked me if we were going to get married and I didn’t know what to tell him, and I guess that set everything in motion for me to start worrying.”

Sidney sighed on the other end. “I guess we haven’t talked about marriage at all, and I’d justify that by saying it hasn’t been to long, but I can see how that’s no longer a legitimate reason if we’re making plans to live together,” he said quietly. “But if we are talking about, I can’t see myself with someone else. If I think about the future, you’re always there with me, so, if Cameron needs to know what my intentions are, I plan on marrying you one day. I’m just not sure when that day is, yet.”

I almost dropped my cell phone, my veins pulsing with a mix of complete excitement over the fact that Sidney had just told me that he did think about making me his wife someday, and complete terror at the exact same fact. Even thinking the word, “wife” was enough to almost make me faint, and he didn’t even have a problem admitting that he thought about it. I didn’t know how to reply, or what to say back, because telling him that I also planned to marry him would be a lie, even though I also didn’t have plans on breaking up with him.

As if it were a miracle, my mom stepped out of the hospital doors, looking around for me before spotting me and grinning. “She’s here! Come meet her.’

I almost let out a thankful sigh into the phone. “Sidney? I have to go, the baby is here.”

I hung up before he could tell me he loved me.